ok, i have been with my GF for around 5 years now, we have 2 kids together a 3 year old and a 6 month old, i am 22 years old she is 23, i DO LOVE HER and she says she loves me, sometimes we have really good days even tho she says we argue everyday, i know things will get better in time right now she works 2 or 3 days a week at a fast food resturant and goes to school 3 days a week all in the afternoon and i work M-F 6am- 4pm, so our main time together is usually on the weekends when i have off. First i am going to describe what she complains about me not doing or doing and then i am going to tell you what i think she needs to do or stop doing will someone let me know if i am incorrect, but before i do that i am going to give a quick back ground on both of us
Me: used to be a bad person, i grew up in the hood, was raised around criminals, i used to do drugs (not like addicted but almost every weekend we'd do some kind of hard core drug). i used to smoke pot everyday which to me isnt bad but thats my opinion, would still do it if it wasnt for my job, used to have a lot of sex never had a real GF before her tho so i am not that good with relationships, was locked up in boy school for 2 yrs from 14 to 16. i have stopped drugs except rare occasions like my bday or huge party might get high 2 times a year, i dont hang with anyone i used to except 3 people who i consider family and 2 of them she likes too, i stopped dressing like a "thug" but that was something i wanted to do too cuz i looked like an idiot...lol.. and i generally dont do anything anymore,
HER: she has had 2 long term (more then 2 years) relationships before me, she used to try and still talk to them until i bout beat the crap out of one for trying to get back with her, now as far as i know she doesnt talk to them anymore, also she cheated on me with one of my x best friends, and i forgave her cuz when we first got together even tho it wasnt serious to me i cheated a couple of times, now if she did it tho i'd leave just as i would expect her to leave me if i did, almost all of her friends from her childhood and teenage years stopped talking to her, she said some of it was because of me and some of it was because they didnt like being around kids, cuz we werent going out and partying like we used too, also she loves smoking weed and does it every night after work to calm down before bed, (she doesnt do it when the kids are there or awake) ok now then
1. well she wants me to help with the kids more, i work 9 hours a day working on semi's and trailers, i am also shop foreman were i am at so i have to do paper work and run and get parts and clean shop, granted some days we dont have anything to do if its slow so its not that hard but other days i work so hard i can barely drive home, i do help with the kids i am not a dead beat dad, when she is at work or school in the afternoon i am the only person watching kids. But she says i have "improved on that"
2. she says i need to quit playing video games so much, ok granted i do play a lot of video games, but my 3 yr old son likes them too so we'll "play together" (usually he just runs into walls and such, he'd rather watch me play). video games are my only way of relieveing stress. and i have changed so much to be a better person for her and my family i dont want to change that part of me.
3. she wants me to clean more, which i do try i suck at cleaning tho, her version of cleaning and mine are two totally different thing, and even if i do clean my 3 yr old will make it destroyed again in 3 seconds, she said you have to contantly clean up after him, i just got off work, i dont want to follow him around til he goes to sleep cleaning up after him, i do it before i go to bed
ok now what i want her to do or not to do
1. Sex, we never have sex anymore, like maybe once a week if i am lucky, i used to be a whore, i was used to sex at least once a day before i got with her, i have urges to cheat everyday altho i never will because i hate seeing her cry, and i love her but we are in our early 20's and everyone else i know has sex a lot more, i would even be ok with 3 times a week, even if it was all on the weekends
2. i need more sleep, she wants to spend time with me when we can which is understandable but i have to wake up at 4:30 every morning to get ready for work and sometimes if i dont stay up with her til 11 or midnight she gets mad, she doesn't like to cuddle or anythign she not a lovey dovey type of person, she just wants to stay up and watch tv and as much as i do too i need sleep to be able to function at work, i drag ass at work unless i get 8 hours of sleep,
ok let me know what you think, sorry so long i needed to vent i actually do feel a lil better now tho, Thanks in advance for advice and comments
Me: used to be a bad person, i grew up in the hood, was raised around criminals, i used to do drugs (not like addicted but almost every weekend we'd do some kind of hard core drug). i used to smoke pot everyday which to me isnt bad but thats my opinion, would still do it if it wasnt for my job, used to have a lot of sex never had a real GF before her tho so i am not that good with relationships, was locked up in boy school for 2 yrs from 14 to 16. i have stopped drugs except rare occasions like my bday or huge party might get high 2 times a year, i dont hang with anyone i used to except 3 people who i consider family and 2 of them she likes too, i stopped dressing like a "thug" but that was something i wanted to do too cuz i looked like an idiot...lol.. and i generally dont do anything anymore,
HER: she has had 2 long term (more then 2 years) relationships before me, she used to try and still talk to them until i bout beat the crap out of one for trying to get back with her, now as far as i know she doesnt talk to them anymore, also she cheated on me with one of my x best friends, and i forgave her cuz when we first got together even tho it wasnt serious to me i cheated a couple of times, now if she did it tho i'd leave just as i would expect her to leave me if i did, almost all of her friends from her childhood and teenage years stopped talking to her, she said some of it was because of me and some of it was because they didnt like being around kids, cuz we werent going out and partying like we used too, also she loves smoking weed and does it every night after work to calm down before bed, (she doesnt do it when the kids are there or awake) ok now then
1. well she wants me to help with the kids more, i work 9 hours a day working on semi's and trailers, i am also shop foreman were i am at so i have to do paper work and run and get parts and clean shop, granted some days we dont have anything to do if its slow so its not that hard but other days i work so hard i can barely drive home, i do help with the kids i am not a dead beat dad, when she is at work or school in the afternoon i am the only person watching kids. But she says i have "improved on that"
2. she says i need to quit playing video games so much, ok granted i do play a lot of video games, but my 3 yr old son likes them too so we'll "play together" (usually he just runs into walls and such, he'd rather watch me play). video games are my only way of relieveing stress. and i have changed so much to be a better person for her and my family i dont want to change that part of me.
3. she wants me to clean more, which i do try i suck at cleaning tho, her version of cleaning and mine are two totally different thing, and even if i do clean my 3 yr old will make it destroyed again in 3 seconds, she said you have to contantly clean up after him, i just got off work, i dont want to follow him around til he goes to sleep cleaning up after him, i do it before i go to bed
ok now what i want her to do or not to do
1. Sex, we never have sex anymore, like maybe once a week if i am lucky, i used to be a whore, i was used to sex at least once a day before i got with her, i have urges to cheat everyday altho i never will because i hate seeing her cry, and i love her but we are in our early 20's and everyone else i know has sex a lot more, i would even be ok with 3 times a week, even if it was all on the weekends
2. i need more sleep, she wants to spend time with me when we can which is understandable but i have to wake up at 4:30 every morning to get ready for work and sometimes if i dont stay up with her til 11 or midnight she gets mad, she doesn't like to cuddle or anythign she not a lovey dovey type of person, she just wants to stay up and watch tv and as much as i do too i need sleep to be able to function at work, i drag ass at work unless i get 8 hours of sleep,
ok let me know what you think, sorry so long i needed to vent i actually do feel a lil better now tho, Thanks in advance for advice and comments