daughter is constantly whining and wants to be held all day!! help?

yolli

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Dec 8, 2009
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My daughter is 15 months old and for the past 5 months or so she has been extremely whiny and clingy to me. As long as i'm on the floor or sitting down she will play around ok at times but as soon as i get up to get something or cook dinner she immediately clings to my leg and cries to be picked up. Don't get me wrong i love my little girl so much but this is really starting to wear me out. The thing that really gets me is that she is only that way towards me. I had my husband watch her today while i ran some errands and she was completely fine! she hadn't cried or whined even once and i was gone a couple of hours! as soon as i got home she right away started to cry and whine again. I also leave her at my sisters house at times and she says the same thing that she is completly fine the entire time and will just play by herself but as soon as im in the door it starts :( i don't know what i'm doing wrong? She already talks a lot so she can tell me what she wants (she says drink, eat, wet, hold me, etc) so i don't think its frustration that she can't get thru to me. This is literally an all day every day thing for me...i've tried to get down at her level and explain to her that i can't hold her all the time and i'm busy, i've tried to just ignore it all together, and have also tried to distract her with a snack or toy but nothing seems to work! please if anyone has any advice or a technique that worked let me know!
i have absolutely no problem putting her to bed...we can just lay her down in her crib and she says bye momma...and thats it she doesn't cry or anything just goes right to bed
 
She is fine with everyone else because they don't cater to her every whim. I agree you should read to your daughter, play with your daughter and teach your daughter her colors, shapes, numbers and etc. but she also needs to learn to play by herself.
 
I don't think I can help much, but I can offer my empathy! My son is 17 months and does the same thing (not all the time, but a lot of the time). Fortunately for me he actually does it more to my husband than he does to me :)

Everyone keeps telling me it's just a phase (so helpful to hear, right?). I guess I just make sure my son isn't hurt, hungry, wet, etc. and then ignore him. How long have you tried ignoring her for? It takes at least 5-10 minutes before mine will go play by himself.

Some people might say that's cruel, but entertaining yourself is a skill we all have to learn! Your daughter might be too young to understand that, but it shouldn't be too much longer.
 
One thing is for sure, every time she whine, you immediately pick her up in order not to prolong the agony of hearing her crying right? coz it's really so stressful; and since she can easily manipulate you by doing those whining each time you get up then it's really just a cycle. What you should do is to ignore her for a week or so for her to see the pattern distinctively. You should clearly communicate to her that you are not going to give in with all her whining to get what she wants. It's easy to say and pretty much hard to actually do it but the result is good not just for now but in the near future. Here, check out some of this site's fun activities you can try, for her to enjoy while you cook or do some tasks around the house: http://www.ownadaycare.com/blog/fish-sorting-activity-cognitive-lesson-plan-for-toddlers
 
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