How can I stop feeling ugly, and comparing myself to other people like celebrities?

[AngelD]

I have quite a witchy face. I think of people like Kristen Stewart who are gorgeous and see her photoshoots and know that guys like that, in comparison I feel horrid. I'm tall so that should mean I look graceful but I have a big head and nose which don't look right at all.

My friends are always going on about these guys that fancy them (i.e have a crush on) and who have been asking them out. I myself am very shy with low self-esteem. One of my friends in particular is very critical of who she thinks is pretty and who isn't. She always goes on about her hair and all the guys who have shown interest in her. Whenever we're out together people always stare at her, and ignore me. Though I do dress attractively as well.

I know it sounds like I'm whining but this is how I feel and I really would like some advice. I'm not shallow in the slightest, I think it's stupid how people put so much emphasis on appearance rather than personality - which obviously matters a whole lot more. But you need to be confident in your appearance as well, so how can I do this?

I am trying to work on my self esteem as a whole, so being happy in my own skin is vital. Please help.

[JbAchoo]

1. What you listen to and look at affects your senses and thinking, so it's important to guard your heart. What you think, you'll talk about which affects your feelings and decisions.

2. Everyone is like a flower that blooms for awhile, then fades with time. Even the best-looking. These "values" are temporary.

3. Don't compare or judge yourself by what people define as beautiful. You are a unique individual made in God's image for His purpose and pleasure. He knew how He'd design you before you were born, so you're not a mistake. Your purpose for existing is to become godly in character from the inside out, by God's strength. This makes a person more comely.

I'm not talking about religion, but relationship. When you have the right connection with God by accepting Jesus Christ, He brings you favor with people, the desires of your heart, a different way of thinking, revelation, liberty, confidence, and strength. All wisdom, understanding, and knowledge lie in Him. If you don't have this relationship and want to receive all these blessings and more as God's child, pray the following out loud:

"Dear Lord Jesus, come into my heart. Forgive me of my sin. Wash me and cleanse me. Jesus, thank You that You died for me so I would have eternal life. I believe that You are the Son of God who rose from the dead and that You’re coming back again for me. I'll live for you. Thank you, Lord for saving me. Amen."

If you sincerely meant what you prayed, Congratulations and welcome to the family of God! Keep the relationship going by:
o Talking to God everyday about everything. Ask for His help in the name of Jesus Christ
o Reading, meditating, and applying His Word daily from the Bible to your life. Start with St. John from an easy-to-read version.
o Making friends at a local Bible-teaching, Holy Spirit-led church, for encouragement.
o Telling others about Jesus Christ.

[TheProfessor]

A picture is worth 304 words.

I am placing bet a.k.a. "it's another cute girl thinking she's ugly".

[AmberB]

Firstly, I'd suggest you stop reading womans magazines as almost every photo published in them will be photoshopped. If you've ever gone through one of those magazines while making note of how much is advertising, you'll see that at least half of it is advertising anyway. I've always thought it seems a bit silly paying for advertisements.

The celebrities you're comparing yourself too are professionally made up and photographed or filmed with professional lighting to make them look their very best. You're getting up and looking at yourself in the mirror first thing in the morning in the harsh light of the bathroom. Try to remember that when you're wishing you looked different.

Even though you know personality is more important than looks, and it's silly to care about that, it is really hard not to in a society that places such ridiculous importance on appearance, and sets an unreal standard through make up and photoshopping. What might help make you feel more confident in your looks is attending a modeling course. They'll teach you about how to apply make up that's correct for you face shape and colouring, how to be confident and walk with good posture, and how to dress for your body type. I know a few young girls who have done it just for self confidence and it's really helped them a lot, even though none of them were interested in actually modeling. Have a look through your phone book perhaps and see if you can find anything like that in your area, or ring up a modeling agency and ask if they have any suggestions.

Your friends are probably pretty insecure themselves if they always need to talk about guys who like them. Chances are they feel they need to tell you about this to reassert to themselves that they're likeable. I'm positive you're not the only one of your friends that feels like this.

[CookingFat]

You probably have more to give than most of your pals, shy people usually do. You are a good woman judging by the way you write, your writing is lucid and intelligent and you have a good sense of self expression. The friend you mention seems very vain, b!tchy and shallow, don't get like her. Do not compare yourself to others, you will end up either vain or bitter. Try something new.

[RivieraKid]

You probably suffer from body dysmorphia. This is common mostly because, in general, society has a very warped view on what beauty really is. Also, I don't think you are shallow at all. This is absolutely normal.

Though, I would like to ask you a few things: what's a witchy face supposed to look like? I know people who are Pagans and they are very beautiful. Also, why should tallness =gracefulness? How is your head too big? Do you need to support it with some kind of head-brace thing?

You need to question your opinions on your body because to me, you are being very cruel to yourself. I bet you are very good looking.

Self esteem is, sadly, a quality that you need to work really hard on and unfortunately, I can't tell you how to like yourself- you have to learn that on your own. But it's okay to ask for suggestions, though, like for instance, you could try writing down a sort of list of parts of you that you like so that you don't think about your "flaws".

Hope this helps

[BeckiPoulter]

First, I'm positive you look a lot prettier than you give yourself credit for, but its your personality that should count, and people who can't be bothered to get to know you really aren't worth the effort, so ignore them.

Also, stop comparing yourself to celebrities, its not worth it, photos of them are normally edited anyway and more often that not they use cosmetic surgery to improve their looks. Its normal to compare yourself to the people around you, but you shouldn't let how somebody else looks or views you to effect how you see yourself.

[dc]

It isn't the wrapper paper on a parcel that counts, it what's in side the parcel.
Billy Graham said, "since God made us to be originals, why stoop to be a copy?"
Aways remember that beauty is only skin deep.

[boshnpecs]

How about getting really fit, and developing an athletic body? That would make you more desirable than your friend to many men.

[boshnpecs]

How about getting really fit, and developing an athletic body? That would make you more desirable than your friend to many men.