I know this is going to sound selfish and sound like im just complaining. But...

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May 13, 2008
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...I just dont know what to do.? I always count on people to be there for me and i trust them. They all go behind my back and stab me in the back. You know how your supposed to have those friends who always stand by you. Wel I don't. I thought i did. But i don't. Ive gotten hurt so many times I'm just not the same person. I keep telling myself it will get better I hope, But it doesn't. It sucks not having anyone to talk about personal things with and trust them to understand and care. My parents are getting a divorce and its really hard to deal with it. And I try going to school and put on a smile but its sooo so hard to. I try not to cry because i'm usually alone like all the time. I may sit by other people. But even if your surrounded by the biggest crowd, you can still feel like the lonliest person in the world. And i really feel like that. The only person i have to talk to is my mom. I know pathetic huh. Yeah and i just hurt inside me, like this strange feeling inside me waiting to get free and turn into tears. And it hurts like the worst pain ive ever had. I guess i'm just depressed. But i don't know what to do about it. I really just need a friend or atleast one person to talk to. My school is so big i just can't talk to anyone or find a decent friend. I know people have way worse problems than that and thats probably nothing but maybe someone can help. Any advice?
 
you and me are just alike
my supposed to be friends that were like sisters to me tore my heart in two
you should consider yourself lucky that you can talk to your mom
my parents are so overprotective and always acuses me of having sex or doing something wrong
they hold grudges and i can never tell them anything
all of this has put me in a state of quiet shyness i push ppl away and put up a wall i used to be the type of girl that was always happy and energetic now its like i have krept back in my shell
i feel so weak because when ppl yell at me or i get in2 a fight i just take it i can never express my feelings
i really dont know what to tell you because im still in that state but keep your head up and try to live life to the fullest and know that youre not the only one i hope i helped
 
Hey there. dont give up. im living through the same thing. i know what you mean about not being on your own but still being alone. i felt really really down for months and i finally got up the courage to reach out to my best friend and get some help and she didnt get it at all and basically told me to get over myself and stop making everyone depressed. that hurt more than i can explain. i feel like im constantly on the verge of tears and its all i can do to just avoid breaking down.

i think the one thing you have on your side that i dont is that you are still in school (im 21) you dont say your age but if you are close to finishing look forward to it. your whole lifestyle will change and you will meet so many new ppl at college or through work. hold on to that and if you need more then perhaps counselling? im not the type for that but you might be?

Keep trying. it will get better =)
 
Lol this sounds like one of those cheesy emo songs.
Ok.I'm a very musical person so this is what I would do.
Start a Band. If you don't know how to play an instrument, learn. People love playing music and if you ask around, you'll find sum people with the same musical tastes as you do.
Hope this helps ya out bro!
 
Hey there. dont give up. im living through the same thing. i know what you mean about not being on your own but still being alone. i felt really really down for months and i finally got up the courage to reach out to my best friend and get some help and she didnt get it at all and basically told me to get over myself and stop making everyone depressed. that hurt more than i can explain. i feel like im constantly on the verge of tears and its all i can do to just avoid breaking down.

i think the one thing you have on your side that i dont is that you are still in school (im 21) you dont say your age but if you are close to finishing look forward to it. your whole lifestyle will change and you will meet so many new ppl at college or through work. hold on to that and if you need more then perhaps counselling? im not the type for that but you might be?

Keep trying. it will get better =)
 
I know how you feel. I can't talk about anything private to my family and at school rumors spread like diseases.I suggest you find some way to comfort yourself. I listen to music or just sit down and let the world go by.I hope that the advice helps.
 
My heart goes out to you. At your age and going through what you are has to suck. My advice to you is to go to your school counselor or advisor. I'm sure there must be one at your school. How about an adult you feel close to and trust? Just know that you're not alone in your feelings of being alone in a crowd, many many people feel that way, but high school is one of the roughest times of your life. Experiencing the divorce of your parents is very difficult for a child/teenager who is already just struggling to learn his/her place in the world and "fit in". Everything you're concerned about is very real and very worthwhile. You say you're close to your mom. Could you tell her you'd like to talk to an outside source like a therapist or counselor? Have you thought of calling your community mental health clinic? There are people out there to talk to, it's just a matter of finding them is all. I commend you for reaching out and I hope you locate someone to talk to.
 
i kinda know how you feel. whether we own up to it or not i think we all have some point in our lives where we feel lonely. like earlier this year i made the mistake of dating a friend's ex boyfriend and she got really pissed and turned all our friends against me. i had to start over in my senior year making all new friends. it eventually worked out though. but you need to seek out someone who is like you. who's that one kid that eats lunch by himself, maybe him? email me if you need anything else.
best wishes,
marissa.
 
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