I just found out my live in girlfriend was having a "phone"

[Confused]

relationship..what do I do? We have been living together for 5 years. She has been bugging me about marriage for 3 of them. I have been reluctant to tie the knot for various reasons, but deep down I thought she was a totally faithful, sweet and honest girl. And her character was exactly what I wanted in a wife. Last year was really hard on her for several reasons, deaths in the fam, etc. I found out in Sep that she was talking to another guy but we worked it out, and I asked her to come clean about anything and everything...She said that the incident was totally out of character for her and that was all there was. Since then everything has been great....I have even started looking at Rings. Then I found out she was seeing another guy last March for about two months. I will admit that during this time, we were discussing breaking up, and I was less than a great guy to her. Supposedly nothing sexual ever happened, I even called this dude(not threatening, and very understandingly) to fing out, but he pretty much vouched for her story. But she was so decietful, she would even call him while I was in bed(11PM), and she's the type who won't even stay up to see me when I come in from night shift! Now she is staying at her mom's, and I am afraid to make the wrong decision. I love her dearly, and I don't want to regret my decision, either way. The point is, I'm not sure I can trust her. The biggest thing she had going for her (loyalty, honesty) is gone now. What do I do?? Please help me!

I always told her I would never cheat on her, and if I felt like I wanted to, I would break up w/her, she agreed. I would love to feel like this was all my fault(for not marrying her), I wouldn't feel like such a punk if I took her back. I just want my devoted and loyal girl back, she insists she loves me and would never hurt me again, but where do you draw the line?

[david]

sounds like your relationship isn't work out. you've lost the trust. i think it mite be time to call it a day. you need more than just love in a relationship. once a cheat always a cheat.

[Divya]

Whenever u came to know about her relationship it was by cahnce. She never told u anything about it. So it's true that she is not faithful & u cant trust her.

But still if u love her, clarify ur thinking to her. But I'm sure that she will tell anothe lie to u.

[lucy]

you can't marrry someone after that much damage has been done. She's had what are called "emotional affairs" on you. sometimes it would be better if she had a physical affair because an emotional affair is an affair of the heart. she's seeking out other men to fill an emotional void that you either aren't or can't fullfill. and thats nothing against you because she needs to learn to speak to YOU when she needs something not find men to have phone relationships with. That alone makes it pretty clear that if she cannot talk to you about what she needs in your relationship that getting married would just be completely out of the question because its not going to stop after marriage. marriage doesnt fix things. things must be fixed before marriage.