A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender pulls out a

[Unregistered]

A dog walked into a bar

A dog walked into a bar and asked for a beer. With that a man at the bar said I don't want to drink at the same bar as this dog. The dog and the man got into a fight and the man shot the
dog in the foot. With that the dog yelped out of the bar and down the street.

A week later the same dog walked into the same bar, this time he was wearing a black hat, a black vest, black chaps, black boots, a black gun belt with a pair of black colt .45's one on
either side, and a black bandage around his sore foot. He goes up to the bar and says to the bar tender "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw"

[admin]

A guy walked into a bar and ordered two drinks.
"How about a double instead?" asked the bartender.
"No. I'm drinking with my friend from Denver."



So the bartender gives him the two drinks. He drinks them while alternately
sipping from each glass. This goes on for a few months. A couple of times a
week he comes into the bar to drink with his friend from Denver.





One day he comes in and orders only one drink.
"Did your friend from Denver die?" asked the bartender.
"No. My doctor told me to stop drinking."





Bacon and Eggs walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast."





A man from Ward 3 sneaked out of the City Hospital down to Shaftesbury Square and ino Lavery's pub still in his dressing gown. He ordered a pint of Smithwick's and a
double Black Bush. Having downed them in 5 minutes he asked for the same again. As he drained the last drops of the Bush he said to the barman, "I shouldn't be drinking
this with what I've got."




The barman stood back, alarmed, and asked "What have you got?"

"About 50p" (not much money) said the patient.





Two blondes walk into the bar....You'd think one of them would of seen it?



A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."




So a five-dollar bill walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "Get outa here! We don't serve your type. This is a singles bar.

[Unregistered]

A man walks into a bar and goes directly to the bar tender:
"I bet you 300 dollars that if you put an empty glass on the bar I will fill it by pissing into it from 8 feet away without spilling a single drop."
The bartender, thinking the 300 dollars would be worth the clean (or the spectacle), agrees.
The man then proceeds to pull down his pants and starts pissing all over the bar. He pisses on the regulars, he pisses on the whole bar, even turns a round and pisses on the table, and practically pisses on everything but the empty glass. Then he smiles, gives the bartender his 300 dollars and then yells to his partner across the room:
"See? I told you I would do it! Now you owe me 5000 dollars!"

[Unregistered]

what about this one??

A rich man meets a lady at the theater and invites her to his house for a drink.she then leaves. an hour later he realizes she intends to burgle him how does he know???

Please help I'm hopeless at these