"Coming out" in future relationships?

montana

New member
Oct 14, 2008
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Okay so I don't like labels, but I've been with and have had feelings for people of both genders. I don't keep it secret, but I don't tell anyone either or say "I'm bisexual". Is it dishonest not to disclose to partners in the future that I have been with both? It's just I don't want a guy to think 1) that he can get a threesome cuz he can't or 2) that I will leave him for a girl.

It sucks cuz lesbians think you're not gay enough and are just experimenting and straight guys think you'll go back to women.

I'm not ashamed of who I am. I don't talk about specifics of my past that much to anyone of any orientation (or regular friends) for that matter. I just want to be who I am and do what I want but I would never want to be dishonest to someone I care about in the future.

Anyone have experience with this? How do you explain it to partners, particularly to the boys? What reactions have you faced?

I should also add that I worry about letting the person know and then that defining me forever, to friends, family, etc.

It's easier to tell girls though because guys expect a girl to just like guys just because it's the norm....

What about with people who aren't yet in serious or potentially serious relationship territory?

For example, I was talking to a straight guy and he asked about when my last relationship was. I brought up the conversation but it was hard to answer his question without putting it all out there. He was just a friend-type-person so I wasn't going to say "Yeah I slept with her a year ago" but I don't want to be evasive.

Sigh..
 
You don't have to tell your bf you're bi-

So what if you're bi- No need to make him worried if it's something you can deal with.
 
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