What type of combat gear should I sport on Black Friday?

Mace, a cattle prod(you can borrow mine..hubba-hubba) assless chaps and one of those canned air horns(for senior citizen shoppers).
 
Helmet and taser if you're really determined to going in...perhaps a Superman or Batman cape.
 
If you wait until 09:00 your time, you will be able to walk right in and pick up your prize, pay and walk out. The Stores will not be near as packed tomorrow as they have been in years past. We do not have the money for honey.
 
BRING DISTRACTIONS!

marbles to make people trip

yell "OMG IPODS FOR 100 DOLLARS" and veer off to the wrong direction
 
And while you're at it...

Bake me one of those mini-cakes in that Betty Crocker Toy Oven whose only source of cooking heat is a lightbulb...

(It only takes 3 hours to bake...)
 
wear combat fatigues that say "super mom" on the back!
throw fake grenades at enemy shoppers (they'll pee their pants, and no jail time for you! hopefully)
 
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