BassCatcher
Member
- May 14, 2008
- 32
- 0
- 6
Yesterday I was at my local WalMart buying a large bag of
>Purina dog chow, and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me
>asked if I had a dog. (What did she think I had -- an elephant?)
>
>
>
> So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I
>told her that no, I didn't have a dog -- I was starting the Purina Diet
>again.
>
> I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the
>hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
>intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in
>both arms.
>
>
>
> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the
>way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
>simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
>
> The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I
>was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically
>everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
>
>
>
> Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because
>the dog food poisoned me.
>
> I told her no, that I had stepped off a curb to sniff an
>Irish Setter¢s ass and a car hit us both.
>
> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
>attack, he was laughing so hard.
>
>
>
> WalMart won't let me shop there anymore.
>Purina dog chow, and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me
>asked if I had a dog. (What did she think I had -- an elephant?)
>
>
>
> So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I
>told her that no, I didn't have a dog -- I was starting the Purina Diet
>again.
>
> I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the
>hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
>intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in
>both arms.
>
>
>
> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the
>way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
>simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
>
> The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I
>was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically
>everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
>
>
>
> Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because
>the dog food poisoned me.
>
> I told her no, that I had stepped off a curb to sniff an
>Irish Setter¢s ass and a car hit us both.
>
> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
>attack, he was laughing so hard.
>
>
>
> WalMart won't let me shop there anymore.
