Old h*rny woman

A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter.

Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk, “Dddooo youuuu hhhave dddddiilllldosss?”

The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies, “Yes we do have dild*s. Actually we carry many different models.”

The old woman then asks, “Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ccaarrryy aaa pppinkk onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss ththiickk…aaand rrunns by bbaatteries?”

The clerk responds, “Yes we do.”

She asks, “Ddddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo Ttturrrnnn ttthe ssuma aaffabbiiiitttccchh offffff?”



A hairy scoreboard
A Traveling salesman is out in the country selling his wares. He is in the middle of nowhere when his car breaks down, he leaves the car and starts walking and reaches a small farm house. He knocks and a middle aged man opens the door.

The salesman asks him for a place to sleep in the night. The farmer tells that he has only one room with a bed and on that he and his wife (who turns out be gorgeous) sleep.

So the salesman sleeps on the bed with the farmer and his lovely wife.

In the middle of the night the farmer's wife gets h*rny and asks the salesman to come over to her side and f**k her! The salesman points towards the snoring farmer and whispers, ''He'll wake up!''

The farmer's wife replies, ''He's a sound sleeper. If you don't trust me pull a hair out of his a*s and you will see that he won't wake up!''

The salesman tries and the farmer does not wake up. The salesman and the farmer's wife get into a f**king session. They repeat the act several more times that night and the salesman plucks a hair out of the farmer's a*s every time he goes to f**k the wife.

Finally the farmer wakes up and says, ''Hey, I don't mind you f**king my wife, but can you stop using my a*s as a scoreboard!?!''