Rat-fighting red coat nutcrackers? Look me up when you get to the 24th century, pal. That's where I'll be, cracking nuts and taking names with my $35 Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock versions of this timeless classic. They go nicely with my Star Trek synthehol bottle opener, and are handy in a pinch (groan, huh?) when I need something quick to fight off those son-murdering Klingons. Keep the eight ladies dancing away from the Kirk one, though. We hear it has a tendency to end up sweaty and shirtless at least once a holiday. [What on Earth]