My husband was picked up trying to solicit help?

C

christinac

Member
May 30, 2008
41
0
6
MY HUSBAND WAS PICKED UP TRYING TO SOLICIT A PROSTITUTE.
I had no clue. I believed we had a good marriage he has been my best friend we also have children.
He really is a good man but How do You get past something like this How do you know they will not do this again?
He told me this only happened too times and well of cores the last time he got Busted. also recently he got a really bad infection we are going to the doctor tonight to find out what it is BOY I HOPE IT IS NOT AN STD. and he gets pissy with me for being moody now am I wrong for feeling Like how dare him? he had to tell me case he did this to same night before my terminally ill father landed at the air port for his first visit in 28 years and most likely his last one.
when we had met I was done with dating all together See I had some Bad relationships ships in the past and one failed marriage already and a Child from that so I really was not up for all of this crap again.
It took me some time before I felt safe and well I never doubted him and well now what do I do?
If I do not think about it I am OK for a bit and I put on a mask for the kids sake. but now there is no trust I miss that so much never worried about what the other on is doing. knowing they are doing nothing wrong. now All I can do is wonder at times If he is or has again :(
and just say what ever .he says he thinks he has a sex addition and I say he is married sex addition to what hookers !
I am a stay at home mother of 3 and so dam confused some family say stay some people say go How and What about the kids.
My family reminds me of what he did for me and what A good man and father he is I know. and my friend say he will do it again and do you really think he did it just the two times he said he did ?
and there are very many possibilities he did I do know But I am trying to think of the children he sure has not been. I don't what to hurt him I love his so very much and really hate what he did. he was not like any of the others I have been with in the past.
So I thought! I feel like I have been living a lie.
I am in so much conflicted. I really did not react at all to this hole thing he said that I was scary calm. I just think there is nothing left of my hart any more,also we are doing marriage counseling. he Doe's want it to work I just don't know if I do? The poor kids is all I can think. DAM Cheaters!!! They really don't know what they are doing to the Innocent ones!! Any advice is appreciated Thank you all.
I am re-posting in hopes that I fixed all the spelling Errors.
Chris
 
Sorry to hear that, Baby Girl.

First things first, It doesn't matter if he cheated 1 time or 20 times. Therefore disregard the friends advice. Next, Your family (bless their hearts) are doing what families do ........ Try to keep the family together. So disregard their advice. Last but not least, The children will suffer for a moment whether it's due to separation or the fact that the "ora" (something your mask can't hide) at home has change between Mom and Pop. Therefore, the decision shouldn't be based on them.

Finally, we are left with "You". First decide immediately if you are going to stay or leave. The reason you need to do it right now is because you don't need any interference or influence when deciding. (example) hubby comes home late, you'll automatically assume he was cheating and this could influence your decision.

After you decide, you need to commit to that decision 100%. You should never try to forget it happened but you must forgive him for doing it no matter what you decide. Remember "it's now his job to make sure he doesn't leave you any room to reflect on what he has done". Therefore every move he makes should be accounted for until you decide that he has fulfilled this duty, no matter how long it takes.

p.s. My girl cheated last year, we are trying to reconcile but her job (bus driver) allows her too much time between shifts which doesn't sit well with me. This is the dagger that I live with .......... the same one you need to avoid.
 
This is a very hard decision, I know you must feel so much love for your husband, so much trust at one point in time, you wish time could just go back and change things, right? And I'm sure that he wishes he could go back too, when everything was perfect. But unfortunately, you can't do that. There are two options, you need to decide what would be best for you and the family. One you could leave him, then where would you and the children go? Would you stay there? How would you provide for the family and yourself? Do you really want to put yourself and your family through that much emotional turmoil of a divorce? Or you could stay, try to work things out, go to councelling. While working things out, live for the children, do things with and for the children to take your mind off of the relationship. Your children are the ones in life that will always love you, need you and make you smile. If the councelling doesn't work and you truelly believe that the trust is not there, you must do what you have to to be happy. Both choices will be very difficult, so just be prepared for that. That is all I can tell you, hopefully I have helped a little.
 
While I would usually give a smart azz remark.

But if he does have a serious sex addiction and he is bold enough to continuously go to hookers. He needs to get help.

You say that he is a good father, and did help you out in whatever situation you had. But I don't believe that means you are indebted to him for life, no matter what he does.

He helped you. Now pay it forward, and help him realize that he needs help.
 
He's not a sex addict that is nothing but crap, but he does have a moral weakness and hence his confusion. That is why your family is reminding him of all his good points. They still see potential.

I'm not suggesting that you keep him or dump him but I am suggestion that you do not necessary need to do anything rash at the moment. Give your self some time you do have three children.

Sometimes things work out for the best.
Good Luck!
 
I would run as fast as i can, a prostitute is just gross and you should get checked to..Honestly my husbands things would be out front.. Unforgivable...........
 
I would run as fast as i can, a prostitute is just gross and you should get checked to..Honestly my husbands things would be out front.. Unforgivable...........
 
Nobody can make this decision but you. You're in counseling which is good but of course it will be a long road to regain trust. My husband's brother got busted for soliciting too & his wife had to bail him out of jail. She stayed with him & he ended up cheating again several times. Instead of prostitutes he started meeting women online & hooking up for sex. She still stayed with him & now their marriage is better than ever but they had to get to the core of WHY he was doing this in order to fix it. If you want to stay then you'll really need to listen to him. If he says he has a sex addiction then BELIEVE him because he just might. It may hurt to accept that but it could be what resolves this whole mess & gets the two of you moving on with your lives.
 
HE got all pissy because YOU were moody. WELL how DARE you get all moody because of a little thing like that???? WELL YA??? If anybodys husband got busted for trying to hook up with a prostitute??? I think ANY WIFE would be upset??????? Get rid of the jerk and stop buying into the excuses!!!!!!!!!!! he's done it more then twice honey. If you believe his story>>then I have some land in Florida I'd like to sell to ya?????
 
You have a right to be pissy with him and so much more. The Choice is something that you have to make on your own, only you can decide if you should stay or go. If you decide to stay you should defiantly stay in counseling. I am so sorry that you and your kids are going through this. Just try to keep them out of the middle. If it was me I could never forgive him or move past it so I would kick him out and get a divorce. He is not worth it and you dont deserve to be treated like that.
 
esco- you are a loser.

now to answer the question - leave. your husband is nasty. please leave.
 
There are still a lot of spelling errors!!!

But seriously, you don't deserve to be treated that way!! He's a pig!!!
 
Relationships won't work without trust so you need to figure out whether you can learn to trust him again or not. I hope you don't have a disease either, that's awful and very selfish of him. You have every right to be angry with him. He should not try to turn it around on you. Good luck.
 
esco- you are a loser.

now to answer the question - leave. your husband is nasty. please leave.
 
Im not with getting a prostitute, prostitutes are very NASTY!!! in every way ...
but you have to think... how bad was your sex life that your husband fond better sex with a street walker than his wife. Dont blame it all on him, maybe you should of gave him that BJ he wanted
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

A
Melissa Joan Hart Shares Photo from Night She Met Husband Mark Wilkerson 22 Years Ago: 'I Knew He Was My Forever!'
Replies
0
Views
1
admin
A
A
Supreme Court orders new trial for B.C. francophone who was not given French option
Replies
0
Views
6
admin
A
A
Fire at historic Ogden Block in Calgary's southeast sends one person to hospital
Replies
0
Views
1
admin
A
A
Bob Avellini, quarterback who teamed with Walter Payton to lead Bears to 1977 playoffs, dies at 70
Replies
0
Views
6
admin
A
A
Erling Haaland’s freakish scoring spree summed up by otherworldly leap for second goal
Replies
0
Views
1
admin
A
Back
Top