ok, you have to be a criminal, which one do you want to be?

[arrestedamilliontimes]

Crack dealer.
International drug smuggler.
Stick up man.
Embezzelment/white collar criminal.

Homeless petty bike thief.

[IplayadoconTV]

The white collar criminal. Most are never caught, and even if they are, they are so wealthy, they are rarely convicted.

[Mal]

international drug smuggler, at least that way you get to see the world

[John W]

I would be the "International _____________ Smuggler". Why limit myself to smuggling ONLY drugs? The market is sooo wide open and, generally speaking, you mix with a better class of people.....

[steven c]

Crack dealer.

[Albireo]

White collar - specifically a politician; that way I could rob the whole nation blind...whoops...already been done.

[sliop_sknots]

oh yeah crack man

[rob5279]

International drug smuggler would get me more time in jail, so that's not good.
Crack dealer sounds okay as long as I don't smoke it. I'll have some bling bling and some money rolls in my pocket and maybe a nice car.
Stick up man would be nice unless an accident happens and someone gets hurt. Bank robbery would be a nice job.
White collar is the scummiest of all criminal jobs (Enron). Embezzling is totally rotten because those criminals ruin tons of lives with deceit and trickery. They should all get life in prison.
Homeless petty bike thief is a bad option because of the homelessness.
How about a crack dealer who occasionally steals a bike or car? That sounds good to me.

[swixon]

Absolutely the white collar embezzlement criminal. First, I get big money which I can put in an off-shore account like in Switzerland. With the money, I can do what I want (i.e. travel, give to charity (Robin Hood Syndrome), buy "stuff", etc.). If I get caught...that's a BIG IF...I go to a country club prison. Actually, writing this...there doesn't seem to be many drawbacks.