HELP! My 3 year old does nothing but cry and whine all the time!?

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MeganZ

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Sep 16, 2008
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My husband and I have definitely had it and now so has my mother in law. We are temporarily staying with my in laws to help them with bills and such and vice versa. We have been there for 3 weeks and last night my daughter just would not stop and my husband was dealing with her while trying to put her to bed and not doing so great at it so my mom in law stormed in there and started yelling at her and saying she has had it and that she needs to be nice to mommy and daddy and apologize. She scared the crap out of her and she did stop. That was the first time she has ever yelled at her. Awkward! Now I feel like we need to just pick up and leave because I know they are under stress with money nd such and my 3 year old does NOT help...From the time she wakes up to the time she goes to sleep...crying and whining. I do not know what to do anymore because I can't take it! We also have an 8 month old. This is not her acting out either....she has ALWAYS been this way!!!! Since she was a baby, all she does is cry. Now that she is older and understands more, it is getting old. I was thinking a child psychiatrist...for behavioral problems. Could this work? HELP!!!!
We do have a generally consistent schedule. Wake up....get dressed, go to nanas, go to school, pick up from school, pick up sissy and daddy, go home, eat dinner, spend time, take bath, read story, say prayers, go to bed at same time every night (well between 7 and 8pm). Still baffels me....weekends are different though as we do not work...I'm just lost. Also, she seems to hate her daddy. She always wants mommy and never daddy. She never wants him to do anything for her!!! It upsets him!
 
I'm right there with you

All I can say is that I could have written your post verbatum about our son. He's ALWAYS been cantankerous and high-maintenance, and I'm a consistent, loving and adaptable mother. but, once one things seems to help, then he's onto another angle. Eating, playing, just existing for him seems like a struggle. I try to empathize, but now that we've just had another baby, it's hard to not see how extreme his behavior is! It's overwhelming, and I just keep trying to shift my perspective and love him for who he is, yet will be firm and set boundaries in terms of his out-of-control reactions to EVERY LITTLE THING! Argh, argh, argh!
 
don't worry my 2 year old son does the same thing. It helps with us to let him cry for about 10 min and then he is fine. He has a 6 year old brother so he may be playing for attention. i know it drives me crazy too so i just put him in his room and let him cry it out while i surf the net.
 
I know exactly how everyone feels new baby and 3 year old crying. The question is what do you do about it?
 
I can't take it either. As I'm posting this, I'm bawling my eyes out. I have a 3 and 1/2 year old girl, and she cries from the time her eyes open, 'til they close at night. I can't remember last time I heard her giggle or laugh. I have older twin boys, and of course they cried, they're little, and little communication skills, but I'm a child and youth worker and work with children as well, and I can't do it anymore. I'm so frusturated, nobody wants to come home anymore. The boys can't take it, her father and I can't take it either. There is absolutely no pleasing her, and she looks for things to set her off. The car can't back in to spot, cuz "it's not right" she won't eat a fruit or vegetable, all she eats is carbs, will not try anything at all. Waiting for a psych consult, but it can't come quick enough, omg,
 
Get help!

If your children are crying all hours of the day and night something is wrong. Go to the doctor to see if there are any physical problems. Perhaps there is something wrong and they don't know what or how to tell you? Are they being abused possibly? Kids act out as a way to communicate. Go to a psych to see if there is anything mentally affecting them. Do not just stay home and accept it - get professional help. If you do not get help from one doctor, go to another - not all doctors are created equal.
 
Crazy

I have a 6 year old, 26 month old twins, and a 10 month old. My twins do nothing but cry and whine and scream. The baby is picking it up, and my 6 year old teaches them all how to be horrible! from climbing the entertainment center to shoving and pushing and yelling. The twins play with their poop any chance they get, if I walk out of the room they are over the baby gates and doing dangerous things..I'm going crazzzyy!
 
Food Allergies

There could be many answers here....
Process of elimination....
Talk to the childs Dr ASAP
Talk about food allergies... Food allergies have been known to have a very large effect on a Childs behavior. Wheat, Cocoa, are big contributors in food allergies...
Of course also perhaps get child tested for Autism, ADHD but the best bet is to have a conversation with your pediatrician.
Good luck andhang in there.... you'll get through it.
 
My oh my,

I hate to be yet another to chime in as opposed to offering a solution. However, I have two 6 month old twins. One is the most pleasant, peaceful, patient and calm baby I've ever met. And the other, well he's the complete, utter and polar opposite. Shortly after he wakes up each morning, he does absolutely nothing other than cry- if he's not stimulated. I have to transfer him from walker, to floor mat, to play chair, to mommy's arms constantly throughout the day, otherwise after about 2 minutes, he bellows the most gut wrenching cry until he either falls asleep, or someone addresses his need for change. Once he was born, we all immediately noticed how smart and receptive he is. And I agree, he is very bright and this is very apparent at only 6 mos. I am thinking that due to this, he needs to be stimulated more or else he gets bored.

He absolutely consumes my time with every moment he's awake and it has been beyond frustrating. It's to the point where I have considered listening to my ipod to escape the madness. Sometimes, after all needs have been addressed and he's still wailing, I simply place him in his crib and walk away. Sometimes it takes awhile for him to rest, but he's a baby for crying out loud (literally), so how long can his cries persist?

Anyway, perhaps your child is in the same boat and you can do what I do, which actually works for the most part: spend more time with her. Read her books, take her outside frequently and make sure she doesn't have too much idle time alone. It's worth a try. From one annoyed mother to another, I wish you the best with your little one.
 
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!1
I am an au pair and i know it is most deff not my place to say this but the little child is driving me completely and utterly mental its horrible, she makes me want to cry :(
i do NOT see how her parents can ignore this at all, just let me deal with it!
from the second she wakes up it is i want i want i want i want i want no no no no no to whatever i give her, and then she cries (and not a normal sniffle those horrible screaming somebody is killing me cries too!)
at every single thing, this is by far the whiniest tearful horribly spoilt brat i have ever met, she will barely eat anything except junk food and her parents accept it without ever trying
she hates her siblings and is always crying anytime one(god forbid) plays with her
she will not walk anywhere(she is 2 and a half!) and always carried or pushchair
she will bang herself however lightly and the horrible screaming is on for another half hour
nothing will calm her and i am FED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so yeah, this is most not normal i have never met a child like this and her parents will not do anything, no matter how much i say they obviously need help :(
:(
 
i have 2 1/2 year old twin girls and am going out of my mind, the first thing i hear in the morning is crying and fighting which continues all day and thats also the last thing i hear before i sleep. i sooo cant listen to it anymore. one daughter is a lot more whingy than the other and she is also more persistent. there is no way she would sit on a naughty spot or stay in her room. she screams until she makes herself sick i just am all out of ideas what to do with her. please can anyone help?
 
I have a 3 year old boy and man does he cry alll day and he gets up at night to cry. I get so frustrated im so tiered of hearing him cry for any little thing . He is picky he wants to eat only what he wants and not what i give him. When he is crying it sounds like if someone is hurting him its just to much. I cant even take him to the store because if i dont get him what he wants he throws a tantrum and he screams , crys, kicks and he even tries to hit me. I have taken him to the doctor to see if maybe something is hurting him but there is nothing wrong with him. But i also took him to a neurodevelopmental center and they diagnosed him with mild autism. But i think its something more than that.
 
I want to thank all of you for making me feel that I'm not alone. Hopefully the whining,
and crying will end soon enough.
 
READ UP ON FOOD ALLERGIES.
I know it sounds almost unbelievable but our daughter is impossible when she eats dairy and gluten. She cries about everything, and cries about nothing. she is just unhappy. she fights and has a hard time playing with other kids. She is just miserable to be around. And then as soon as we take her off gluten and dairy she calms right down, you can talk to her and she smiles and she is pleasant and easy going. she is kind and helpful. We have tested her for allergies many times and they always come back negative, but there is such a distinct difference when she is gluten/dairy free that even people outside of our family comment on how different she is. There is hope! Help your child. It is hard but it is worth the effort so your child can be successful in life and for harmony in your family life and home!!!
 
I have a 6 year old boy who is Autism (PDD-NOS). He does cry and has had difficulty with verbal communication until about age 5. I also have a 3 year old who is "normal." Or, at least we think so. He has constant fits when he isn't getting his way. I'm leaning toward this just being normal toddler behavior and just testing the waters. I really don't know what normal is with have an Autistic child first. Sometimes my older son needs a little extra attention and the younger one may be jealous and acting out. Who knows?! Everyday is a new challenge for me. As for the children that scream for no reason, all day long....yes, please have them evaluated. It could save you a lot of time and fight later on. I agree that something isn't right. Allergies, mold/mildew in your home, acting out due to a different environment. Anything is possible! You will find a solution.
 
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