I wrote a poem, honest opinion please. It's called "Little Things"?

O

Obanroo

Guest
I looked into the void the other day,
What I saw just blew me away,
Hanging there were many little things,
Without any ropes, ribbons, or strings,
When I breathed in they all moved about,
I wondered what would happen when I breathed out,
Little by little I gave it a try,
Away those little things began to fly,
Eyes wide open I began to see,
Those little things are inside of me,
Fragments of my life,
Held together in my mind,
All the little things,
That make me one of a kind.
 
wow. that's very well written, and unlike many poems on here, it actually makes sense. i like the rhyming also. very simple, and not forced.
i like it.
 
It's a far reach but its a better poem than I could ever write.
I like =]
 
I like it! You have talent, hope you keep using it!
 
Really good visuals, but if you put in a few dashes or periods or something to give the reader to breath (dramatical pauses) it would be even better. But hey, I'm in 10th grade. I don't know everything about improving poetry
 
It's a very delicate poem.
And yes, the vocab is gorgeous.
Don't forget to keep the writing on the same level and tone.
if you know what I mean ;)
Good job mate.
 
One word... Amazing! It is very catchy and is sure to catch anyone's attention! Keep up that poetic mind! Best of Luck! ;)
 
Bravo Bravo, encore please. That was brilliant to read and magnificent to understand. Very well written I love it, please post more like this.

Thank you for the poem and all the best.
 
It was very interesting, I like it!!!! It makes you think when you read it. Keep writing
 
omg it was really nice - you sure have a nack for writing poems :]
 
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