what do you think of this introduction for my narrative essay, HELP PLEASE 10 PTS?

[adnang]

Because of the difference in lifestyles between Europe and the US, moving to America was challenging. First of all, the formal English which I had learned in school did not help me in the play yard in making contact with other students. Although we had some distant family that helped us out once we actually got here, to me it still felt like we were in the middle of nowhere for quite a time. Everything was different, from the atmosphere, school, food, and sports. Soccer not being as popular, as it was in Europe was one of the reasons I wanted to go back, but I knew the chances of that happening were slim. I had played soccer all of my life, and all of a sudden I’ve came to a place where everyone is talking about hitting a ball with a bat, something totally irrelevant in Europe. At first I couldn’t believe how long school lasted, it seemed like I was there for the whole day. Nothing seemed to be right, and after the first couple months all I wanted to do is go back where I spend most of my life.

what do you think, and if i should change something please tell me, leave some tips for writing a narrative essay.

THANK YOU

[EssayExpert]

I have some changes that I'd like to make to your essay to make it sound better and get you a better grade. I will make the changes surrounded in asterisks. (*)

Because of the difference in lifestyles between Europe and the US, moving to America was *both challenging and frightening.* (Adding the word frightening makes the senses more intrigued!) First *off*, the English *that I had learned* in *Europe was not suited enough for me to be able to successfully interact with other students.* Although we had some distant family that helped us (eject the word "out"), once we *arrived here*, (overt to me* it still felt *as if* we were in the middle of nowhere for quite *some* time. Everything was different, from the atmosphere *to the* school, food, and sports. Soccer *not being as popular as it was in Europe made me want to go back, but I knew that it was not an option.* I had played soccer all of my life, and all of the sudden*,* I came to a place where everyone is talking about hitting a ball with a bat, something totally irrelevant in Europe. At first I could *not* (couldn't is not formal for an essay) believe how long school lasted*.* It seems liked I was there for the whole day. Nothing seemed to be right, and after the first couple of months*,* all I wanted to do *was* (keep past tense) go back to *Europe,* where I *spent* (keep past tense) most of my life.

Your essay is overall very touching, and it provided me with a lot of knowledge as to the cultural differences between Europe and the US. Essay well taken! Any other questions, please e-mail me.