My husband had all these text messages on his nextel billing from a girl at work?

[Stayathomemom]

that recently I have heard him mention a lot. When I went to go read them, most of them said"Miss you today sweet heart" and "thanks for the kiss today" "Are you coming over?" etc. When I asked him, he deleted them and said that he was keeping a file of those text messages because they are from this other guy to this girl whom is her boss and want to keep them as ammunition if needed later for job security.

So I don't believe him, yes trust issue but can you blame me, he gets hom after 8:30pm close 10:00pm sometimes, and sometimes I can't get a hold of him for hours in a day.

So my ultimatum is to call nextel and get me original records of all text messages for the past three months or so and I want access to his e-mail account,
but what if he deletes any that I might need to know about?
And what if Nextel can't come up with the records, I have nothing else to go by.
He said he can have her call me, but of course I am not that stupid, I don't have to talk to her and will not believe anything she says.

Help please, need some sincere advice, we have a 3year old child and one on the way. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.
My main question is about my ultimatum, what if he is not able to produce anything to show me proof of what he said was going on?

I need sincere advise please, thank you.
This girl is his assistant, but the text messages are coming from my husbands manager whom is supposedly trying to get with this girl, so I am just getting pulled in all directions.
By the way I have asked him out right, been up all night trying to make sense of things.

He said NO! I checked his phone but all her text messages are deleted on the phone but could be viewed online that is the only reason I found out about them.

So I have to see the phone bill details and see if they are being forwarded like he says, but it does not make any sense.
Thanks for all your advice.
Actually I no longer have any records, I need to see if Nextel can produce them for me, so I can have proof and move forward with little boys.

[marketeer]

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, but it does reek of infidelity. The story he is trying to feed you is really...awkward. Especially with how quickly he deleted them; logically speaking, if he was holding messages for someone else (which I can't think of any way for that to make sense, myself, but that's another issue), he wouldn't need to get rid of them.

By the way, you're being a bit hard on yourself; I wouldn't call it trust issues if you have reason to distrust.

I don't know what else to say beyond that, really. Best of luck with everything.

[jaypauldini]

hi
sounds bad, i would steal his mobile phone, then see what messages come. pretend to be him and send messages back. its a bit sneaky, but at least you will know then.
then get legal advice, sorry i know it is harsh.

[SmilingJW]

I believe his is lying.

People generally do not have gallons of porn, love texts or other illicit stuff on their phones, computers or whatever unless they are looking for or involved in it.

This is not spam we are talking about right!

[Superwoman]

He is definitely cheating. I would try and keep track of him more often, even showing up at work ONCE in awhile unannounced if you have to and pay closer attention to the phone records. He knows your on to him so he will be hiding it so ease up for at least a few weeks then slowly move in again without him noticing.
But realistically you already know he's cheating, don't you? Sounds like you are going to have to lay things on the line here. Tell him it's her or you and the kids, either come home on time each day, spend that time with your family or get a divorce and go from there.
I know you don't want to go through it but it sounds like he is disrespecting you and putting some girl in front of his wife and kids. Divorce might be were you two are headed. Ask him to seek counseling with you to save the relationship or you will walk.
Good luck!

[miriyaminshallah]

If your husband was keeping these text messages for his own job security. Why would he delete them? and how would he get them antway? If i understand correct, his boss is having an affair with his assistant? Well, why would a manager having an affair that could risk his marriage and carreer share that with your husband, his junior, by passing him text messages he sends to this lady? or she sends to him? And if that was the scandal going on, as your husband dont you think he would have come home from work and shared that with you? The office gossip, or that he fears for his job and this is what he is doing. And he is not getting home from an office job till 8.30 - 10pm most days? Deep down u know the truth, just not how to prove it and short of catching them in the act, what he tells you will never be enough as you know they are lies. I am so sorry you are going to go though this. In the midst of heatbreak myself, so I understand. Just question what you are going to do with the truth when you get it, and what you hope to come of the truth.

[Laura]

the best thing you can do is ask him outright xxx

[love9012]

If you believe that he is lying that is instinct. Ultimatum? well it is just an alibi and all lies that is the same experienced I had with my ex bf. Really hurts me and you know I was thinking then if I will not leave him he will ruin my life thinking of him how he cheated me. You talk to him honestly asking the real situation of your relationship. If you feel he is not interested with you or really he will not leave her if you confirm he have affair then I think you have to think of yourself also that you need to be happy too.

[AussieMum]

Thats a big load of crap ....get his phone and call her and confront her.............
Thats how I found out my guy was cheating with a co-worker.