I'd like to laugh out loud to brighten my office up! 10 points for the funniest

[Rebecca]

post....? 10, big fat, well deserved points to the funniest comedian out there!!!

Many thanks in advance.

[monkey]

i love blonde jokes!

1) A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

2) One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

3) Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?

4) Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?

5) Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.--Mentally Deficient?

6) Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?

7) Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?

8) Did you hear about the blonde who went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?

9) Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?

10) A blonde was telling her priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"

11) A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

oh god, your not blonde are you?

LOL

[DaveC]

The phantom bee/wasp,jump up
& scream 'iv been stung,kill the
fukker,where is it ,quick help me !
over there,no there !.

[serena]

blonde brunette and redhead are on the run from the cops, they run into a barn and each hides in a potato sack

when the cops enter the barn to search for them, the brunette in the sacks goes miow miow, the cop says "oh its just a cat" the redhead goes woof woof the cop says "oh its just a dog" the blonde says in a sweet voice po-tat-o... lol