Has anyone ever felt their child not getting the same att'n or gifts as another

fastplayer37

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Aug 26, 2008
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grandchild from a grandparent? I love my mother and she has been a pretty good mother over the years. I just had a baby and she stayed with me for two weeks to help me and did so much for me. Alot of it was related to guilt too b/c she was hardly available for my son. Mind you, i was married at the time so i think she thought i didnt need much help b/c my husband was around(although he did nothing). My son is now 7 years old and he loves my mother dearly. Although, i held a lot of resent towards her when she wouldnt babysit my son when i had to work. I was divorced and my son had ADHD with ODD. He was very difficult at 3 years old b/c noone knew he had this disorder. I had noone at the atime to help me care fo rmy son to go tow ork. I ended up putting an ad in the paper and miraculously found a woman who took in my child. She also had a daughter with ADHD and ODD. She helped me alot (i paid her too) and to this day we are still friends. I never forgot how much she helped me with my son when noone else came around. My mother and i grew apart for a while b/c of htis and i held a large resentment towards her b/c she babysat her other grandchild every weekend and her excuse was that my sister would drop him off. But to this day, she continues to visit my sister more often and sometimes doesnt even stop over to say hello even though we live a block from each otehr (my sister and I). My mom however really got involved with my pregnancy this time and really helped me out alot for the first two weeks after the baby was born. So now we are on good terms again and we got closer and I realized that she has tried hard to make things work. I forgave her. But it still bothers me that she buys all kinds of things for my nephew (my sisters son who is now 15 years old). Just last week she bought him a cologne $60.00 for no reason and a few days ago he wanted a really nice blanket so she also bought that for him. She never buys my son anything out of the blue unless its his bday or xmas. When she comes over she gives him a dollar here or there or somtimes $5.00 and a couple of times it was $20.00. I think in a year she has given my son maybe $25.00 if that. I finally confronted about how i felt that it was unfair that she buys things for my nephew and rarely goes out of her way to buy anything for my son. She did buy my little baby some really nice clothes for her birth. She was dumbfounded when i confronted her on how i felt it was unfair that my son rarely gets anything. She finally agreed that it was wrong but she really didnt realize what she was doing. Im glad i told her how i felt but at the same time, I feel really bad b/c she did so much for me last month. I also dont want mysister to feel resentful towards me or think that im jealous. Im not. I also told my mother that if i had grandchildren, i would treat them all the same and that if i bought something for one grandchild, i would also buy something else for the other. Has anyone gone through this before? What did you do about it? How did it make you feel when you felt that your child didnt get the same treatment? I love my mother very much but she was also raised in an environment of favoritism in her home and im wondering if she is just doing the same thing now to her grandkids wthout even realizing it . I forgot to add that after i confronted my mom about my son, she made a remark or an excse that my nephew always goes to visit her. I told my mom my son is young and my nephew is a teen. Its alot easier for him to visit and i work nights in the states whereas my sister works 5-10 minutes from my mom so its easy for her to drop off her son to visit.
 
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