hi i am writing a short story for the first time.Plz i need your kind feed back..?

[Honey]

It took Hedda half an hour to settle herself. She had started to feel cozy in her comfy chair despite the bee like buzz of the aero-plane that stood still like a huge whale, boarding passengers. She always found it hard to remain in a still or static position and wanted the plain to be on runway as soon as possible. The more she waited the more slowly time crawled. The increasing temperature in the plane was bothering her more than anything and she tried to distract herself by watching all sorts of passengers as they moved through the thin passage looking for their seats. The seat near her was still vacant and Hedda wished for some good company. Hedda started to look as to who might approach the seat next to her. Soon she started to enjoy the different gaits with which passengers were marching through the seats. Some seem to waggle so badly as if they have just learned to walk ...

[rock 'n roll chick]

first, it really detailed, and that a WONDERFUL thing. i too have been trying or started to write, it taken me a week to ge the first chapter to 26 + pages that i like, and now i am sorting throught those, and trying to add more t\details. so since you have a better start them me, i thinkis gona be perfect, and may i say
I WANT A COPY WHEN ITS DONE!!!!!!

it sounds awsome so far, keep writing

[hd112596]

Not bad. I see a few grammatical errors and some spelling but it sounds interesting. Very descriptive. I like it.

[jedi_master_skywalkwer]

That is really good it provides excellent detail and you can just visualise it. Also, it relates to something everyone thoughts about and can make that little piece into something magical. I thought it was a joy to read.