I am 5'6" 18 year old girl.

I used to be 130lbs but over the period of 5 years, I gained 35 pounds and I am now 165lbs. Mostly because I was depressed and also, very up-and-down with anorexia problems.

My body is now wrecked with stretch marks that I could have prevented, I am very, very out of shape, I have spider veins, and I feel disgusting.

The only way I know how to lose weight is starving, because I still have not gotten proper treatment for my anorexia/bulimia issues. I can't NOT starve, but I never make it til the end, so I end up overeating and gaining more weight.

What do I do? I feel hopeless in this cycle. I have no self-esteem whatsoever.


What would happen if I starved until I lost 30 pounds? What would happen to my body? Since I am 18, will my skin sag or will it be okay?

Please don't try to convince me otherwise, or call me stupid. I'm not looking for that, I'm just looking for the facts.