Am I insane? </rant>?

[Nadia]

Everyone says I am crazy...even my friends and family. I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I am.

My entire life is spiraling downhill, and I can't take it anymore. Nothing is going right. I am depressed and suicidal; I cut and avoid eating at all costs. I don't see either of those as a problem because I have control over them, but the people that have found out treat me a lot differently and say I am insane. I feel hopeless all of the time, and every day I ask myself why I let myself live..and I never have an answer. No one cares about me, and no one would be bothered if I was gone. Every single person I have ever put even a tiny bit of trust in has hurt me... my "friends" and family want me to see a counsellor, but I can't talk to anybody because no one listens to me or understands what I am trying to say. It would be better if I wasn't here..

I remember back when I was happy..it seems so far away and unachievable, and I want to go back, but I am not strong enough. =./

[mary]

1. go talk to someone professional. [i was in the same situation you are/i still am, but talking does help, and they are trained to listen and understand you! it wont hurt to try it, but it will to not!

2. there is no going back... ever. but there is moving forward. there is moving past this and becoming a better person and a person who can handle hard times. once you realize that there is no going back-which takes a long time- it gets somewhat easier.

3. i dont have an answer to why you should live, because i dont have an answer for myself yet, but i think that there is an answer out there, so stick around and help me find it!

[Heya]

i have depression too, and everything you just said i have felt. Do you feel this way all the time or sometimes. i thought a physciatrist wouldldnt help me either, but it felt good to have soemone to talk to without jugement, and they gave me a prescription and in a month i looked at life in a more positive and exciting way. This is the only life you get, and i would sympathise with you more if you tried a physciatrist and physcologist and it didnt work but you didn't. And you should do that if you want to be happy again.

[gimmirbestqora]

Let's take inventory of your question:

-can't take it
-nothing is right
-self-mutilation
-food depravation
-depressed
-suicidal
-hopeless
-why I let myself live
-no one cares
-no one bothered if I wasn't here

-hurt by everyone
-can't trust anyone
-no one listens
BETTER IF I WASN'T HERE
.........Those are some of loudest cries for help I have ever heard. Please go directly to a hospital Now - one that you feel you can trust. Right now, if you are having trust issues, it will take every bit of your COURAGE to walk into a hospital and tell someone exactly what you said here. But you can do it. I did. Call a Help line first if you don't know where to go. Your feelings are real. Your feelings are strong. But most of all, Your feelings are Important.

[GoodKarmaaLoveaTao]

Yeah, me too. This life is shit. Trust in Christ.

[dacook]

Life gets real crazy sometimes. Things get out of control and seem overwhelming. What you are going through is very difficult especially since you don't think you have someone listening. I can guarantee that a therapist will listen to you and not judge you for how you think and feel. they are there as outsiders, listening and offering other choices. feelings of wanting to die are serious and should not be looked at as attention seeing behaviours.

I have felt very much the same way you are feeling now. I have witnessed my sons biological father hang himself, my biological father shot himself in the head with a gun and I too have tried different things to end my life as well. what i have come to accept is that my purpose for my existence has not yet been determined and i can not leave this world no matter how bad it gets until it is my time to go. I also realised that many people do care about me, even after i convinced myself they would all be better off without me.

Know this, you are loved, wanted and needed. Your life is worth living and this will not last forever. you do need some help though. sometimes we can not do this alone. sometimes we need medication to help us get focused and back on track. If you do one thing different today, show someone that you don't know that you appreciate them in some way and do not reveal yourself to them. sometimes helping others is more of a reward for the one who helps.

I can honestly say that things for me aren't great- but they are better than they were just 6 months ago. DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF. YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!!

[Athena]

hey, i'm really sorry about how you're feeling...i think it might help to talk to someone though...really, it helps to just get it all out to someone who'll listen, especially a psychologist or a counsellor, who are supposed to listen to you. share the pain and get it out there, that's the only way people can know what you're dealing with, and help to make you happier again. it's 100X harder to solve it on your own. I'm sorry if your parents and your friends don't understand you; that may make you think that nobody will ever understand you, but you never know until you try to talk to someone else. That someone could just help you. Counsellors will try to understand you to give any assistance they possibly can; it's their job. They'll help to find what's causing all of it...and how to deal with it. you just have to tell them. Plus they can give you an unbiased opinion of what they think can help. Just one thing: Don't ever think happiness is unachievable. you can be a happy person again...everybody goes through some rough spots, but they manage okay in the end. you can do it, if you want it. just focus on being happy again, and crush all your negative thoughts before they come. i hope you get better!!

[Athena]

hey, i'm really sorry about how you're feeling...i think it might help to talk to someone though...really, it helps to just get it all out to someone who'll listen, especially a psychologist or a counsellor, who are supposed to listen to you. share the pain and get it out there, that's the only way people can know what you're dealing with, and help to make you happier again. it's 100X harder to solve it on your own. I'm sorry if your parents and your friends don't understand you; that may make you think that nobody will ever understand you, but you never know until you try to talk to someone else. That someone could just help you. Counsellors will try to understand you to give any assistance they possibly can; it's their job. They'll help to find what's causing all of it...and how to deal with it. you just have to tell them. Plus they can give you an unbiased opinion of what they think can help. Just one thing: Don't ever think happiness is unachievable. you can be a happy person again...everybody goes through some rough spots, but they manage okay in the end. you can do it, if you want it. just focus on being happy again, and crush all your negative thoughts before they come. i hope you get better!!