Everyone says I am crazy...even my friends and family. I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I am.

My entire life is spiraling downhill, and I can't take it anymore. Nothing is going right. I am depressed and suicidal; I cut and avoid eating at all costs. I don't see either of those as a problem because I have control over them, but the people that have found out treat me a lot differently and say I am insane. I feel hopeless all of the time, and every day I ask myself why I let myself live..and I never have an answer. No one cares about me, and no one would be bothered if I was gone. Every single person I have ever put even a tiny bit of trust in has hurt me... my "friends" and family want me to see a counsellor, but I can't talk to anybody because no one listens to me or understands what I am trying to say. It would be better if I wasn't here..

I remember back when I was happy..it seems so far away and unachievable, and I want to go back, but I am not strong enough. =./