Ebaydience
Tried to sell my soul today
Still 5 minutes left til close
The bidding has been good I guess
Despite the lack of picture, I suppose.
Described as “second hand” “one owner”
‘Special” may have been the winner
Didn’t bother to mention its quality
No star rating as a sinner
Compared to other items there
I would have thought it was a steal
Never mind that comments left for me
Questioned that it’s real
Now listen here! If a sale can seal
On a burnt-out piece of toast
That supposedly resembles
The image of a Holy Ghost
To search in my heart
And find an object so true
Who in this life can judge or question
My need to test its real value
Then I have the right of vendorship
(Though not that of common sense)
To seize the opportunity, to follow in kind
With an act of Ebaydience
I see the bids have stopped flowing now
And if you have no more offerings to lay
I am truly disappointed
At the “wunder-mart” Ebay
It is not so much the tension of waiting
Anticipation of a sale
It’s the very poor response I got
$5.25 I’d call a “Fail”.
That’s it, all done, the hammer’s dropped
No, I’m afraid my soul’s withdrawn
Removed entirely from your screen
Going, going………gone!
Tried to sell my soul today
Still 5 minutes left til close
The bidding has been good I guess
Despite the lack of picture, I suppose.
Described as “second hand” “one owner”
‘Special” may have been the winner
Didn’t bother to mention its quality
No star rating as a sinner
Compared to other items there
I would have thought it was a steal
Never mind that comments left for me
Questioned that it’s real
Now listen here! If a sale can seal
On a burnt-out piece of toast
That supposedly resembles
The image of a Holy Ghost
To search in my heart
And find an object so true
Who in this life can judge or question
My need to test its real value
Then I have the right of vendorship
(Though not that of common sense)
To seize the opportunity, to follow in kind
With an act of Ebaydience
I see the bids have stopped flowing now
And if you have no more offerings to lay
I am truly disappointed
At the “wunder-mart” Ebay
It is not so much the tension of waiting
Anticipation of a sale
It’s the very poor response I got
$5.25 I’d call a “Fail”.
That’s it, all done, the hammer’s dropped
No, I’m afraid my soul’s withdrawn
Removed entirely from your screen
Going, going………gone!