rate my rap on a scale 1-10?

[Younghiphopguy]

i try to satify you but i'm to poor
so i try to make life easier for you so i do your chaws
i cant buy you food but ill fix the floors
but its not good enough so you need more
i find it hard to live on my own
next minute you come around and give me a home
your a life saver and i want to pay you back
i wanna write your name in the sky your one of a kind
so this rap is to you im trying to give you a sign
we maybe 10 years apart but in my heart i have a thing for you
i gotta speak true only a few kno the truth
ive got all the proof
you care for me alot like my mama
but we not related so your such a stunner
i want to marry you then carry you into a honey moon

and drink pina coloadas to noon
then take you to a place you never been before
because you are the prettyest thing ive ever saw
girl i love you nothing can change that
and that honeymoon im gonna arannage that
so this rap is for you

[AceyBaby]

1.5 dont use slang if u dont kno wat it means/ how to put it in a sentence without soundin like a fool. keep tryin u can only get better.

[EveBaby]

its corny, no complex rhyme, no figuration (as in poetic use of words), no flow in the words,
(ex. next minute you come around and give me a home your a life saver and i want to pay you back [your 6th and 7th line])

no clever reference to real life objects/figures, no message in the lyrics, no real flowing rhyme


a 2

[toledotim419]

from what i just read in your corny rap you are a bum and i bet you aint got a job and sounds like she will be paying for them pina coloadas ...............lmao

[leo]

ok likin park, this is crap

[ispeakforthetreest]

i love this line...
'girl i love you nothing can change that
and that honeymoon im gonna arannage that'
haha. but you sure made a disaster of the word arrange.
[=