G
GlenM
Guest
Dear stupid guy who was running on Kingsley Road last night,
I know you wanted to get a run in during the evening like I do (lately). That town is very small and makes a relatively safe place to run, however, there are some points you need to be aware of so that I don’t run your ass over.
1. Wear something reflective. A dark grey T-shirt, black shorts, and black shoes do not show up in the dark until my headlights shine on you when you are directly in front of my moving bumper.
2. Stay on your side of the road until after cars have passed. Deciding to switch to the other side while cars are passing you is not only stupid, but often times it is fatal.
3. Run on roads with a shoulder. I know this is not always possible, but deliberately picking roads that are very narrow (because they have been there since the 1700’s) and have no shoulder whatsoever, is incredibly stupid. I know you don’t like to run on the grass, but running in the road leads to massive trauma and flying body parts.
4. Carry a damn flashlight. See number 1 above, you moron.
5. Buy more life insurance. Given your low level of intelligence while running, your life expectancy is about 6 more months. I would not be surprised to see you in the obits this morning after being run over last night.
Sincerely,
Jon-who-almost-ran-you-over-because-you-jumped-in-front-of-my-truck-like-the-flaming-idiot-that-you-are
PS
I hit my horn and gave you the finger because I wanted you to know how proud I am of you for being out there running. Seriously. Rock on.
I know you wanted to get a run in during the evening like I do (lately). That town is very small and makes a relatively safe place to run, however, there are some points you need to be aware of so that I don’t run your ass over.
1. Wear something reflective. A dark grey T-shirt, black shorts, and black shoes do not show up in the dark until my headlights shine on you when you are directly in front of my moving bumper.
2. Stay on your side of the road until after cars have passed. Deciding to switch to the other side while cars are passing you is not only stupid, but often times it is fatal.
3. Run on roads with a shoulder. I know this is not always possible, but deliberately picking roads that are very narrow (because they have been there since the 1700’s) and have no shoulder whatsoever, is incredibly stupid. I know you don’t like to run on the grass, but running in the road leads to massive trauma and flying body parts.
4. Carry a damn flashlight. See number 1 above, you moron.
5. Buy more life insurance. Given your low level of intelligence while running, your life expectancy is about 6 more months. I would not be surprised to see you in the obits this morning after being run over last night.
Sincerely,
Jon-who-almost-ran-you-over-because-you-jumped-in-front-of-my-truck-like-the-flaming-idiot-that-you-are
PS
I hit my horn and gave you the finger because I wanted you to know how proud I am of you for being out there running. Seriously. Rock on.