Step daughter flirting with me, is she trying to get me in trouble?

[Michael S]

I recently married my wife and moved in with her and her 16 year old daughter from a previous marriage. I love my wife, but there is a problem with her daughter. When I first moved in she was very cold and distant, but inexplicably she's begun "flirting" with me when her mom is not around, going as far as making sexual innuendos and trying to make light physical contact, when I've done nothing at all to condone or encourage it. She knows she is a pretty young lady that, as far as I can tell receives plenty of attention from boys her age, and I have the troubling feeling that she is trying to get me into legal trouble or break up my marriage. I want my wife to trust me completely but I don't want to say anything that might hurt her or her daughter. I also certainly don't want false suspicions or accusations raised when I have no bad intentions. What would you do in my situation?

[Ravenberri]

The next time this girl flirts, or makes a comment that you think is inappropriate, tell her as much.

"Personal space" "inappropriate topic of conversation"

If she does not stop, tell her mother about the problem, and try to find a way to deal with it.

[crazy_ari_girl]

When my mom remarried, I was 14. I apparently embarrassed my step-father by hugging him a lot and wanting to spend time alone with him. In reality, I was just hoping to get to know him, and was looking for love, as my own father was rather distant.

It sounds as though your step-daughter may not have such innocent intentions, but she may also just be confused and looking for attention and a way to make a connection with you. Carefully monitor your alone time with her, and show her that you care without encouraging her. If things continue to go badly, I would first discuss it with your step-daughter before discussing it with your wife. If you're wrong, the step-daughter will be embarrassed and the behavior will change without needing to upset your wife. If you're right, either the behavior will stop or you will know that it's time to involve your wife.

Good luck!