independence

One of the best ways to remain independant is to keep travelling.
The airport lobby is your friend. Keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone... under pressue and under the gun you get a step closer to realizing who you are... and can be.

Any of the writings by Pico Iyer would suit you well. Video Night in Kathmandu, The Lady and the Monk, Cuba and the Night, Falling off the Map, Tropical Classical, and The Global Soul.

Tropical Classical is definitely food for thought. It's important enough to own it in hardcover. His writing I've always considered 'conditioning'... when I have to wrestle with issues like independance and who I am. You wouldn't step into the ring without being conditioned right?


Remember polarization is your enemy. Life does not have to be an either/or option. Live your life before you decide to start having a family or settling down. So many of the most screwed up people and terrible family situations is where one or both of the people in the marriage feel like they never really got a chance to 'live'... and now they're stuck in bills and responsiblity and obligations.

Oh hell, now you've done it. You've made me have to think and give an intelligent answer. Actually being of a 15 year old mind is not a bad thing as long as you remember your bills and know when to say enough is enough and walk away. That's a mark of an adult. I know 50-somethings that can't do that yet, and I suspect you can.


I became responsible for myself at the age of 16, and have never looked back. I locked onto the mantra "To thine own self be true" and have fiercly held onto that through out my life. It's caused more than a few problems and issues, but I never backed off of it. At the age of 19, being that I was now a Seinor Teen, I decided to be responsible. That is, meaning I would start to seek responsibility and be responsible for my own actions.

Okay enough of that. BELCH!!! This guy was standing at an urinal...

Well, I left home at 18... not really voluntarily but my parents moved abroad, so I really had no choice because I didn't want to leave my beloved Holland.

But in hindsight it was probably the good solution, I never regretted it.

Remember that that's also the 'forced to drink bad beer stage'.

When Senior Chief Larson told me I was allowed to be independent.

I've been more or less fending for myself since I was 12. I left home properly at 18 to live on my own. Even when you go to uni, you aren't 100% independent, as you have that nice cosy uni community, and a lot of discounts.

I'm 24 now, living with someone, and have a full bag of repsonsibilty. And I still act like a 15 year old. You can have both, but only when you feel ready. Don't go in for stuff you aren't up for because people tell you "its about time you grew up". They're talking crap.

I can't remember the last time I used student discount. Honestly, where do you get it? The cinema? Yeah, but I've only been there once in the last 4 months. I could really do with a student discount at sainsburys though.
I don't know about the "cosy uni community". I do wing chun outside of uni and I see the people I know through that a lot more than I see my uni friends these days.

I'd first have to know how an adult is supposed to feel.

I suppose responsability set in with my first full time job, and they have kept promoting me so I'll assume that means I'm responsible, either that or they are tying to get me up to middle management before I cause too much damage.

Look into it. High st shops often give you 10% off, like Topshop or Dorothy Perkins, then there's the free medical/dentist care, you don't pay taxes (and thats a big chunk of cash), discounted books/stuff from the uni shop, and above all... cheap BEER Oh, and that student bank account with the 2k overdraft.

Also, the uni will often have cheap or free entertainment on in the nights. It often depends on the uni you are at.

LOL

Damn, I wish I was a student...

1) I'm a bloke, Topshop/ Dorothy Perkins have no relevance - besides, I am living in the same clothes I was wearing 3 or 4 years ago

2) I think I have to pay for the dentist actually Not a major expense anyway.

3) Taxes Woohoo. I actually got charged tax over the summer, but the darlings at the inland revenue are paying it back. No council tax is fantastic, I agree (what the hell is that tax for anyway)

4) I never take advantage of cheap beer. I tend to buy decent stuff on offer and then stock up on it (try Golden Glory, the stuff is awesome)

5) I have never used my overdraft

TopMan then

If you are a Welsh student living in England, you may not have to pay. We don't pay here till your over 25.

Council tax is a pain, but covers things like binmen, street lights etc. The worst rip off is income tax

Well there are some people who have no choice but to grow up fast ie, when a parent has been told they have a serious illness which can take their life, there are some kids have no choice but to be a grown up if the parents have split up. It's really hard for these ones as they don't see a childhood they deserve and it takes a lot of courage as well as they have to cope with everything which isn't right.
There are others who have major problems at home who have to live double lives in the house and outside as they are going through hell while they are there. It can be a basis of arguments with either parent, abuse of any sort or any question of things which can cause a breakdown of comunication within a family. It all starts with the same thing you learn to grow up fast and you start to plan your escape even though you might only be a child. I'm not saying that this happens in every case but it's out there and there are so many kids trying to handle so much on their own.
I grew up very fast when I was just at school as I had no choice in the matter as there was a lot of illness in the family and other stuff happening so it was upto us to be the parents and it's hard not to be. My mum had my brother who ended having Meningitus so it was upto us to look after him. I am very protective with him as he'll never be able to do very much for himself as he ended up with brain damage and other stuff connected with the family as well with the genetic illnesses we all have. So for some of the folk around. life isn't a bed of roses, thing is it makes them a lot stronger willed lol. In some cases it can be a good thing to have but in others it can be a pain as well .
lisa xx

The only thing that you have to remember in life is that growing old is compulsory, growing up isnt!

Well I'm still not independent - I'm 22 and still live with my mom. I lived on my own for about a year when I was 18. My folks kicked me out the day after my birthday because I was engaged in some behavior that they did not condone and would not support. I'm mostly independant in the fact that I've got enough money to support myself, and I have an education and a good job.

I'd say that I became RESPONSIBLE when I was about 18 or 19 (less than a year after I was kicked out) and realized that my actions at the time would have drastic impact on the rest of my life. That was about the time I started focusing on my education and taking my classes and grades very seriously, and I kicked some habits that were detrimental to my health, and stopped sleeping around with promiscuous girls and all that nonsense. Anyways those were good choices and I've come a long way since then.

Whoa. I don't think I could do that.

Good points. I think there is more to 'independance' than not living with your parents! It's more of a state of mind.

Some people simply transfer their dependance on their parents to dependance on a husband/wife/partner. And dependance can work on so many levels. On an emotional level it is even possible to be dependant upon your own children.

One of my best mates is 27 and he still lives with his parents. It does have it's advantages, believe me...

I can't imagine too many.