I've always felt that my friend Kate has been manipulating us girls to get married w. kids, like her. We were all friends 6 years ago and she was already in that life situation. I've always been the single one so she would literally set me up w. anyone who had a d8ck. The long term couples were pressured to get married. And her husband would constantly ask the same question, "do you like babies?" every time we would see them (makes sense when I look back now).
Kate succeeded bc she got one friend - engaged, married, pregnant, delivered baby, and one on the way in a year and a half. Since then, it's like she took her for prisoner and only stays close to her as she abandoned my friend and I. We're grown adults past our mid 20's so it's not like we party hard or get drunk as we have our careers, bills. I find their arrogance insulting bc aren't marriage and babies a personal choice? I feel like they're super selective of their friends now. My friend and her bf just bought a new house/moved in together yet they couldn't attend anytime they were invited. Yet our friend the newly wed and first time mother, has a birthday party at the club at the casino and they're able to find babysitters and party/drink. I understand that in life situations, we all grow apart and you have all those things in common but I can't help but feel disrespected; like we're not the "cool kids" in high school bc we're not married with kids. I also feel disrespected bc they'll invite me to their place (and knowing how flaky they can be), I call to confirm YET don't get an answer from them in 8 hours; YET everytime I'm over at newly-weded mother's place, they're always on the phone and in contact. It's obvious we're not close friends, right? If we're not close friends, then why do they call when they need something? I got a call our mutual friend that Kate's husband needed someone to pick up their kid (in less than hour's notice). She (stupidly) volunteered me (w/o my consent) so when she called to tell me, I declined and hung up. We're not close, so why expect me to pick up your kid? Why couldn't Kate's husband call me himself? So it's okay for Kate to give me an answer in 8 hours yet I have to pick up someone's kid in less than an hour because I'm single and don't have children? That's another situation but I can't help but feel like these people are not genuine friends.
PS: My friend and I (even though not married w kids) are close with our own families so we understand and are used to having children around; kid friendly. I've never discriminated those who have kids or let that stop me from being friends with them. I like talking about that mom stuff bc it's so different than what I have in my life now. Kate had a baby when we first met yet she still made time and was normal but now I get this arrogant attitude with them.
I more than understand that there's not much time for friends, I get it/accept it. It's okay to be unavailable but I don't feel the effort or sincerity anymore. I have friends who are moms who say "hi" now and then but don't have a smug attitude bc I don't have a kid.
Kate succeeded bc she got one friend - engaged, married, pregnant, delivered baby, and one on the way in a year and a half. Since then, it's like she took her for prisoner and only stays close to her as she abandoned my friend and I. We're grown adults past our mid 20's so it's not like we party hard or get drunk as we have our careers, bills. I find their arrogance insulting bc aren't marriage and babies a personal choice? I feel like they're super selective of their friends now. My friend and her bf just bought a new house/moved in together yet they couldn't attend anytime they were invited. Yet our friend the newly wed and first time mother, has a birthday party at the club at the casino and they're able to find babysitters and party/drink. I understand that in life situations, we all grow apart and you have all those things in common but I can't help but feel disrespected; like we're not the "cool kids" in high school bc we're not married with kids. I also feel disrespected bc they'll invite me to their place (and knowing how flaky they can be), I call to confirm YET don't get an answer from them in 8 hours; YET everytime I'm over at newly-weded mother's place, they're always on the phone and in contact. It's obvious we're not close friends, right? If we're not close friends, then why do they call when they need something? I got a call our mutual friend that Kate's husband needed someone to pick up their kid (in less than hour's notice). She (stupidly) volunteered me (w/o my consent) so when she called to tell me, I declined and hung up. We're not close, so why expect me to pick up your kid? Why couldn't Kate's husband call me himself? So it's okay for Kate to give me an answer in 8 hours yet I have to pick up someone's kid in less than an hour because I'm single and don't have children? That's another situation but I can't help but feel like these people are not genuine friends.
PS: My friend and I (even though not married w kids) are close with our own families so we understand and are used to having children around; kid friendly. I've never discriminated those who have kids or let that stop me from being friends with them. I like talking about that mom stuff bc it's so different than what I have in my life now. Kate had a baby when we first met yet she still made time and was normal but now I get this arrogant attitude with them.
I more than understand that there's not much time for friends, I get it/accept it. It's okay to be unavailable but I don't feel the effort or sincerity anymore. I have friends who are moms who say "hi" now and then but don't have a smug attitude bc I don't have a kid.