Sometimes it all just hits me and I feel like there's nothing left to live for. My past, present, and future is so overwhelming, cause the first two sucked and the last one is hopeless.
In the past I have made few good memories. I was abused as a child, mentally and, on occasion, physically. My school career was sad and miserable, as I home schooled through elementary school and was neglected in middle school by most of my classmates.
Currently I am giving up on school and my grades are slowly dropping, and my two greatest friends are so distant, going to different schools. I live with my father, who was an alcoholic and would threaten my life on a regular basis. Sometimes I wish he went through with what he said. He's now in AA, but whenever I see him I think of him waving a baseball bat at me or choking me up against a wall.
There's no hope for my future. My friends will fade away, I'm never going to see them again. I hate my family. My grades suck.
What can I do when it all hits me? Cutting doesn't help.
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