Please read and tell me what you think?

[JamesCameronAvatar]

pretty good, lots of spelling and grammar mistakes though!!!

[DavidO'connor]

Its really good but lots of spelling mistakes i personally would put it as chapter 2 or 3 make the reader grow to love the girl like it was their own sister or daughter

[amanda]

I could only read the first paragraph before I started to feel sleepy.

[Dude]

It was ok, I thought

[ally]

doesn't flow smoothly.

[LyraVanquel]

I like it, its very descriptive.
answer mine everyone please, i'm stressing over this-http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApKJlO_5cAxZmNsDTVeq0.Lty6IX;_ylv=3?qid =20111113120041AACs6zK

[ericjohn1987]

girls cannot be hemophiliacs only boys can, i was thinking of something similar in a story i was working on where a dirty and evil cop was beating a hemophiliac girl and she bled to death. i realized i could not use this idea when i did a little research and discovered that hemophilia only affects the y chromosome. girls can carry that gene to a male child however so maybe make the child a boy.

sorry if i busted you bubble, but use your imagination you have good wording a catchy opening and you are very descriptive. i am sure you can come up with other ideas because you seem very talented.

please feel free to answer mine...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ah.uzzjeAMX_5zaBeu03gu4azKIX;_ylv=3?qid =20111113062036AAirORp

[TIMOTHYSHAUN]

Really good, actually, but a lot of grammar problems.

[RaineVanitym]

This is AWESOME!!
The plot is amazing but i don't think girls can be hemophiliac(not 100% sure though)
I would 100000000% buy this book