Opinions on my story ? Thanks !!!!?

[Madeleine]

The thick air tore at Steven’s lungs. Sweet smelling wind brushed passed his shoulders and he could just taste the fresh odour of pine on his lips. He stood between high dancing trees, slaves to the wind. He wrapped his arms around himself to protect his bare skin. Through the shaking leaves and the tall trunks he could see Kim, his wife, who had passed away some years before. A fire started in his heart, spitting flames roared through his lungs and stretched down to his legs. Her pale skin glowed in the sun and her lips drew an effortless smile.
Kim’s thin legs leaped over the pine needles, swiftly landing on the crispy leaves. It was nearly as if she had a set of small wings hiding behind her back, ready to spread out and fly away into the blue sky.
Tears welled up in Steven’s eyes and trickled down his rosy cheeks. He knew she was gone. But why was she there, right in front of him?
The flames lurched around his stomach and ate away at his ribs, as Kim stepped closer to him, ready to embrace him. Her full lips were now close to his, but before he could even touch her she had disappeared among the trees.
Steven jerked awake. He was in a small room with two nurses. The first one fiddled with her hair while the other one was skimmed through the Wellingtonian. They immediately stopped what they were doing and turned to him.
Steven looked down at his body. He was wearing a white shirt and a pair of ill-fitting pants, and on his wrist he wore a medical bracelet.
The hair fiddling nurse offered him a cup of tea which he wrapped his fingers around gratefully.
“Um... where am I?” he asked.
“Steven, it’s ok,” the nurse cooed.
He looked outside. The sun settled behind the hills and the city absorbed its last rays. So many thoughts raced through Steven’s mind .He began to panic, his fingers shook and his rosy cheeks turned pale.

“Where is my wife? I saw her before I...I...” the trembling words barely escaped his mouth. “Steven, you’ve never had a wife,” the nurse said. “No! I did, her name was Kim Adrian. We were married for two years,” he protested, his words nearly exploding in his throat. He buried his face into his hands and looked down at the dirty pavement.
“No, Steven, I’m Kim Adrian,” the nurse said. These words made his stomach twist and turn. His body shook in anger and fear, although he didn’t believe her. Nothing would have stopped him from protesting.
“This institution in Wellington is your home, Steven.”
His heart dropped. He continued telling himself it wasn’t true but it was. The devilish flames had collected his soul and before he knew it, they had crept down his weak limbs and nestled to the floor, leaving him with nothing but cold and smouldering embers.

[YoMama]

duuuuude thats aweeeeesome! u should publish it. ILL BUY IT! i read many books and thats a good book