Hard riddles? Or riddles that sound dirty but totally aren't?

[xoearmani]

I need riddles that are funny but also difficult and are not stupid and pointless. Please include answers (:

[mmommMmt]

Two in a corner,
1 in a room,
0 in a house, but 1 in a shelter. What am I?
Answer: Letter r

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champagne bubble.
If you squeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?

The answer to this admittedly lame riddle is, "No." The reason is that the question at the very end asks if you can guess the riddle and there is nothing that satisfies the requirements above.

The more you take, the more you leave behind
answer: Footsteps

Remove six letters from this sequence to reveal a familiar English word. BSAINXLEATNTEARS
answer:BANANA (Removed SIX LETTERS)

I go in hard.
I come out soft.
You blow me hard.
What am I?
answer? gum

I go in dry and come out wet, The longer I'm in, the stronger I get. What am I?
annswer: A teabag!

thats all i have :P

[thomt]

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one.
Elton John has a short one.
The Pope never uses his.
Madonna doesn't have one.
Mr. Rosenbloom had his shortened, and gave it to his wife when he got married.
What is it?
A last name.

Can a man marry his widow's sister? No, because he's dead.
What word starts with F and ends in UCK ? Firetruck.

Don't you think I am a cunning linguist?

[missesunshine]

Fill in the blanks.
1. Boo_s
2. __ndom
3. P_n_s
4. F__k

5. Pu_s_
Books, random, pants, fork, pulse.

[Unregistered]

fuck