My wife is cold, but my kids are young. Should I have an affair or get divorced?

[a girl]

Don't stay together for the kids.Talk to her about the relationship (without arguing, if possible) discuss how to improve, your concerns, why you feel the way you do, and maybe discuss breaking up and how to deal with that together. You need to be 'adult' about the break-up in order to make sure the children are not badly affected by it.

[AF]

Don't cheat because you know that is just wrong. Maybe she really secretly wants a vacation and not having sex with you is her way to get you to do it. I know that I need time away from my kids and the whole mother thing. Young children can be very stressful. Why don't the two of you go somewhere to be alone for a few days. Good luck!

[a k]

well that sucks....I'd say if you are not happy in the relationship then leave, you can't stay just for the kids....thats not really fair to them, or to you...

[A clear mad mind...]

"Divorce" is not the solution for your problem.try to talk to your wife, maybe she is bothered or troubled with something...or maybe she is seeing another man. you don't need a marriage counsellor (you and your wife knows) what's best for your relationship and not anyone...

[a k]

First, get someone to take the kids off your hands for a week-end or a week and take your wife on that vacation and see if you can improve her libido. Looking after children is very stressful and after all that work that goes with that, no one, not even a man would want to be 'intimate'.If the holiday doesn't go well, you need to tell your wife how you feel, if that doesn't get through, have another talk and mention separation, see if that gets her attention.

[A M]

i don't think that if you were secure in yourself that you would find it necessary to post your physical features. having kids is draining on parents, mostly mothers. it's up to you to find ways to help her out so that at the end of the day she has a reason for the intimacy

[@th3n@]

Wow- at first I started to read this and thought you were writing a poem. You married her for "better or for worse" she said "let's go on vacation" did you try that?A stable upbringing for your children - may be that you two go your seperate ways...ever think of that? you stated you are "smart" and not a "loser"...this is serious question, and I think you should do some soul searching for both you and her and those little ones you are worried about. Good Luck!

[?????]

LISTEN TO HER! She said lets go on vacation, so get a babysitter and go on vacation. See if things can help. Do NOT take your children with you. Find somewhere romantic to go to also-tropical always deems worthy. Dont have an affair,,thats only going to add to your confusion and problems-leaving you with a scorn bitter woman if she found out...and believe me,,she'll find out. Once again--LISTEN TO HER! Being a mom is hard work..it really is, maybe you need to show her you still love her....bring her little gifts from time to time....I really think that you guys should go on vacation and try to recreate whatever it was that brought you both together in the first place.

[anonnimouse]

GET YOUR DIVORCE...BRING CHILDRED IN A LOVELESS ENVIRONMENT IS NOT HEALTHY...

[??? ?]

Where were you when I married a man in love with him self to the point of preferring his own hand & porn to me, crying my self to sleep next to him in bed for 20 yrs without so much as a peck on the cheek? As soon as I bore him a child, she became his Love & i was reduced to a pain in the butt.