Jehovah Witness MIL is pushing her religion on us!?

[RED CHIC]

I recently married & my husband was raised JW. He decided when he was in his early teens that the religion, let alone any specific religion, was not for him. He never outright told his Mom, but went to the meetings less often while living with her and after he moved out (with me 8 years ago) has not gone since. The issue is that his mother is consistant on getting him to attend the JW meetings. She lives about 5 hours away, so she sends him Watchtower mags, Mapquest directions on how to get to the Hall, etc.He gets upset that she can not let it go. When she visits us she leaves stacks of watchtower mags. for us to read and get agrgumentitive with me if she sees me reading science based books about spirituality (whch I happen to find interesting) or sees a movie like Lord of the Rings laying around.I feel like every time she has to come over we have to hide our life from her because she upsets so easily. What should I do? I feel religion should not be pushed, but personally chosen.

What if my husband is terrified to talk to her about it? She has had MAJOR depression in the past few years and he is worried that it will be too much for her to handle. I feel that we are just leading her on by not saying anything.

[jaydee]

I don't think you should do anything, but I do think your husband should take his mother out to dinner and tell her how he feels about it. He also needs to explain that he still wants to have a close relationship with her and he would like to share his life with her without feeling like he may hurt her feelings.
Being honest is the best way to handle it!

[Jackie J]

I have family like that also and they leave watch tower pamphlets everywhere and it is very annoying. We celebrate holidays (they do not) and if they come over around holidays we do not change a thing. I do not agree with their religon but I accept them for who they are and they should do the same for me. You sound like you are more than considerate and respectful to your mother in law so she should accept who you are because you care so much about her.

[Juliepoo15]

Well, I think the best thing to do is have a frank talk with her. Actually, your husband should be the one to do it first. He needs to grow a pair and stand up to his mother. He led her on for a while and now he can't do that anymore. She is also being very disrespectful.

If it would make your husband feel better, maybe you can both sit down with her and have a discussion...one that involves telling her that you guys are adults now and perfectly capable of making your own decisions, religious and otherwise. You don't want her pushing this on your children, if you decide to have any.

[Firecracker]

Yes, I agree.

[chavezgardens]

It is time for your DH to grow up and tell his mother that he is not interested in any religion and if she continues to push her views then you need to both put the boundries into place - "you will respect us or you are no longer welcome in our lives"

[Firecracker]

Yes, I agree.

[lisa]

You need to explain to her (with your husband present and in agreement) that you value your (you and your husbands) relationship with her but that she needs to accept that it isn't going to include her religion.

If she can't continue being a mother/mother in law without religion being a part of it than you are going to have to limit contact.

This sounds tough, but it is the only way.

I have a friend from high school that had the nerve to tell me that my son cutting out construction paper hearts for Valentines day was a sin and how could I allow that. I made it clear that we have been friends for 20 yrs and religion never was and never will be a part of that friendship. We each have our own beliefs and that is why God gave us free will. We believe in our own ways and neither is more right than the other.

I didn't here from her for a few weeks and then she came back, I didn't lose my friend. She already lost a brother her family cut out of her life in high school and doesn't want to lose any one else.

Put your foot down and it will work out for the best!

Good luck!

[TheScorpion]

Well, it's all about reasonableness. She sounds a little nutty, as SOME JW are, and unable to accurately observe the world around her. Your husband needs to tell her to knock it off with the magazines etc and that if she's going to come over she cannot make judgement calls about your lifestyle. Basically, if she doesn't like it, then she can just stay home. I know that's hard but it's the only way.