is he not into me?

[ttmmtt]

so i really like my bf. we have been going out for five months and are pretty serious. he is taking me on vacation with his parents to belize in may, and i spend a lot of time with him. i am moving out of my apartment in august and last night i asked if he would want to get a place with me then...well he didn't exactly say no, but he definitely didn't say yes. i told myself that if i asked him and he said no, i wouldn't be sad or hurt....but of course i am. so last night after i talked to him about the apt., he called me and told me that he ran into his ex at a mutual friend's house. he told me how awkward it was and how she won't talk to him at all since they broke up. then he proceeds to say that the problem was that he liked her too much and that the only reason she dated him was because he wanted her to live with him so badly and she wanted the free rent. is he nuts!! why would he tell me this after he just basically shut me down when i wanted to move in with him?? soo pissed

[ttEINAHPETStt]

You sound quite selfish.He got burned before living with someone and doesn't want to get burned again AND does not want to find himself living with someone who might at some point break up with him or vice versa, as it would be much harder on everyone if you are living together.It's not all you, you you.

[te♥]

Here is your problem..."i told myself that if i asked him and he said no, i wouldn't be sad or hurt....but of course i am. "The estrogen overrides any and all logic and from the male perspective you appear certifiably insane!

[te♥]

Maybe he's telling you that to get you to understand why he is hesitant to live with you. He basically just said that the last time he lived with a girl she used him. I'm sure he is wanting to avoid that. If you really care about him, respect that. Take it slow. Five months is a little quick to move in with someone. Let him know that you aren't that girl and when he's ready to move in, let him ask.

[tmshelbymt]

It sounds like he wants reassurance from you that you're not just in it to use him. He seems insecure because of what happened in the past with his ex. Sit him down and talk to him and tell him the reasons you want to move in with him and tell him you would never use him like his ex did.

[tBASHt]

He didn't actually shoot you down, he gave a non-committal "Not no, but not yes," he was still processing the idea. Now he brought up the ex to open up the discussion and get feelers for your thoughts on the idea. He's questioning your motivations. So you and he need to talk about it, not just a "Moving in... yes or no?"

[tFannyLaRuet]

girl u need to slow down! Cause if you don't, he will not want to be with you anymore.So take your time, Let the relationship grow. Be Independant.

[tLadyStormt]

Instead of trying to guess as to what he meant when he said that to you, why don't you ask him? Maybe he just found that his experience with another girl about moving in together didn't wok out very well and maybe he is just not ready to try it again. However, in the future when you are not sure about what someone means when they say something that you don't understand, just ask them. Communications is the number one thing in any relationship. You should never be guessing about what the other person is thinking you should always know exactly what is on their mind and you do this by asking them. If they give you an answer that you don't understand then ask them again and keep on asking until it is perfectly clear to you as to what they mean.

[tttdirtylilsecretttt]

Well, everything was okay until you threw the monkey wrench into the pot. You guys have only been dating for five months. And while he did invite you on an exotic vacation to Belize with his parents, that's only going to last a week, maybe two tops. Moving in is a whole different ball game. One that means exclusive, committed relationship, physical and emotional lockdown, quite possibly forever. In 5 months this man is still trying to get comfortable in your still new relationship. He hasn't even entertained the thought of long-term possibilities. So, of course when the words "move in together" flew out of your mouth, this poor guy went into shock and probably almost passed out. You blindsided him and he did the only thing that guys know how to do...he ran...straight into the arms of his ex. Or at least a fairytale story about him and the ex. He had to quickly find a way to get out of this mess that you created without hurting your feelings. Well, he got out of it, but your feelings...not doing so well.Moving in is a life-changing event in a man's life and you can't just spring it on him and expect a good reaction. Being tied down has to be baby spoon fed to them in order for it to go over well. I don't know where your relationship stands today, but in the future, think long and hard before doing this again. The reaction will always be the same.Good luck.

[ttttPlayIttttt]

You shouldn't be pissed.. You've found a man that will actually talk to you about how he feels and will listen to you and have a actual conversation and your whining about it? Really? Look girl he likes you of course he likes you ..Are you crazy? He is taking you on a vacation with his parents..and all those other things you've mentioned...Trust me he likes you..Just because he has enough sence to not move in with you doesn't mean he doesn't like you..In fact did you know that studies show that those who cohabited(live together) before marriage are 50 percent more likely to divorce than those who live separately? So your boyfriend might have a point there