You've probably heard that Rod Stewart has married yet another model 25 years younger than him. Granted, this is not exactly shocking news, but we thought we'd take this opportunity to see what a few of the 62-year-old singer's prior relationships with leggy fashion icons a quarter-century his junior have meant to, you know, his art.


Here are all the lucky ladies, in reverse chronological order:
• Penny Lancaster Rod's companion since 1998, Lancaster once told Rod, over a lousy order of fish and chips, to "raise your standards." Stewart responded with the four-volume Great American Songbook series, which in total has sold approximately 30 kajillion copies to your grandmother and our moms.
• Rachel Hunter Rod married her in 1990; they divorced in 2006. During the early, bright part of the marriage, Stewart experienced a mini-renaissance of sorts by taping an MTV Unplugged, just like every other over-the-hill musician in the known universe during the same period. The program alerted people to the fact that, you know, Stewart once made decent music. Then we all forgot and went back to playing Sonic the Hedgehog, while Rod forgot too, and recorded "All for Love" with Sting and Bryan Adams. Stewart would later put out a hit on the members of Fountains of Wayne after seeing the "Stacy's Mom" video, but was later talked down by friends who assured him that the band's sure-fire future installment of VH1's I Love the '00s was punishment enough.
• Kelly Emberg. Stewart's companion from 1983 to 1990, bore him one daughter, and inspired, not the song "Infatuation," but the drum sound. This is crucial. She was in the studio during the mixdown and when Rod saw her wincing slightly, asked what was wrong. "That snare," she said. "There's not enough echo on it. It should sound more, I dunno, paper-on-tin." This statement, uttered between mouthfuls of takeout Cantonese, would have deep reverberations for all of pop, no pun intended. (Note: Emberg was, during this period, simultaneously carrying on an affair with Steve Lillywhite.) Emberg's extensive collection of Tom Waits bootlegs also gave Rod the idea of covering "Downtown Train."
• Alana Hamilton Stewart's first (but not last!) wife, she introduced herself via telegram, delivered to Rod on the floor of Studio 54. (The Western Union man, unable to get in through the front entrance--doorman Mark Benecke was heard muttering something about "the grey people"--shinnied his way through the drainpipe. His left shoe remains MIA.) "YA I THINK YOU'RE SEXY STOP," said Hamilton's note. Later, in Steve Rubell's private office/coke den, the two of them met, and Alana asked, "Da ya like my body?" A smash hit was born, the proceeds going to UNICEF, whose president hated the song so much he sent them back, all in pennies tucked into tiny orange cardboard boxes.
• Britt Ekland Killed a man named Georgie.
• Dee Harrington. Unfussy, had a distended ankle. Rod later paid tribute to her with his album Foot Loose and Fancy Free.
• Anne Boleyn Once her marriage to Henry VIII came to an untidy end, she was free to gallivant with innocent schoolboy Stewart. Later she told him she only used him for sex. Inspired "Maggie May."

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