What do you think this poems about ?

tJBt

Member
Feb 27, 2008
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I wrote it but I don't think anyone else can interpret it soo...tell me what you think and guys its not edit sooo easy up lolIt feels like pain smell like rainIt reminds you of old time, struggles, hard ache like when people had a meaning to fightWhen love meant love and not sexAnd being love was not when you just meetLike having that one cool breeze after a hot dayLike Fridays when you just got paidIf feels like being Under a sun with no heat, a hip hop song with no beatMight be poetryA lot of good loving in-between the linesLike when he tells you he loves you for the first timeHow you told me how wonderful I was after you read between my thighsLike how sweet it taste and how bitter the prizeDid you like what you did not findHow my love reminds you of your favorite lyricist like common, erykah and floetryListen hard and it might be poetryWhen the worlds slows down , and the cars get fasterAnd the same old tired bitch in every movie and video like cast herThat only increase my laughter, See it not the speed of the car, or the internet its what comes afterLike when the lights shut off, not TV to entertain us , no lil boosite, young jock or other nursery rhyme rappers to make us madAnd a pen and paper is all you’ll haveThe room is so hazy with the lights down low, the pen dries people line up like in a military rowI keep reminding them this anit no showThen my eyes tiptoe, to a boy in the corner with black hoody with his eyes so low said it to us so…….. Turn off the cell phones, pods, blackberry’s, and two ways Because its 2008 ,believe me it getting lateChildren are dying at the age of eight Not even the church is safePreachers preaching about moneyAccounts preaching about god Not hitchhikers but mothers asking for ridesThe boy get on stage and tells me to step to the sideHe lends in closer in says into the micHas it ever rained so hard after it didn’t for so long, and you turn off the TV. And lay in the dark just to listen to natures songAnd you never felt so aloneIf you listen a little closer you might hear the lines and rhythm of rain Like the trees being a old church women that’s can sing , leaves fall so dramatically like someone catching the holy ghost and they just cant stay in their seat.The message is not poetry but it might be me
 
Must say i do enjoy works of literature but you need a good editor because this doesn't hold anything from the first line,sorry. Keep going though as long as you enjoy it that's what writing is about.
 
Someone looking back on how life and the world has changed and wishing they were back in a time of innocence.
 
You can write good Kim but you need English lessons to perfect your art. I'm sorry if I offend you but please consider what I say. The poem is deep and interesting but its more of a rap song and not good literature. What do you want? To write songs or poetry? You have to choose. If you choose poetry then you must study a little to perfect what you are writing just like the rest of us have to study to perfect our careers.
 
Sweetheart it is to long and rambling but apart from that it is from your heart, good luck.
 
Well, it is kind of long for my liking. But you did put a lot of thought into it it seems like!
 
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