I'm worried i'm making a bad decision?

[seearrharr]

I think you should spend some time apart. If you two really love each other, you'll find each other again. But I wouldn't go back unless he agrees to stop the mental abuse. Good luck.

[SeikoPsycho]

Take your time and read www.drirene.com about emotional abuse, I don't know your case, but I think is the right choice. Staying with him is approving his behavor if he is not changing it, and there is no need for anyone to take such a disrespect or live like you were living, becaus life is a lot better than that, and if we have that supposed to be best friend, that person wouldn't ever do that to anyone and that doesn't seem your case. Also be aware that most likely he will stand up and wont like your decision, be prepared and be strong in what you decide.Remember this, there is no need to be a victim. A way to stop emotional abuse, is by stop being a victim, by saying enough, done, it's over, I don't take this anymore because you deserve better. Also, most likely you were on your way to start phisical abuse, I don't know much about abuse, but the little I know is that all cases are the same, they start with emotional and later they turn into phisical, the abuser doesn't get it until the victim leaves. That's basically almost the only case when they change, but most of the time even the victim leaving, they don't since they would like to be with you, but they have to change, and they end up finding a lot easier to find another victim who will take what they give, of course, not at the beginning because the victim gets hooked with the most lovely person on the face of earth, but is later when that starts happening.Just thanks your self respct and self esteem, that's what got you out of this situation. You are going to be happy really soon, will be hard at the beginning but once you start living in peace, you will start regaining the self respect and self esteem and you will really enjoy it, it will be priceless. You are on the right direction, just keep going. I don't know if you are leaving him for someone, it's difficult to answer your question. It's even harder when you love the other person, because you can love him, and also take in consideration that you can caused, you can forgive and let the pain go, the good news is that you can forgive and that there is no obligation for you to stay in tha situation.

[Seeker of Truth]

Mark this up as a learning experience in life. You did the right thing by making the first step to move on with your life and make a better life for you and your child. Men that are very controlling don't change. He will tell you what you want to here to attempt to get you to come back, but for your own self pride, let the divorce proceed and you need to get back on your feet and take care of that child. Don't try to contact him in any way. No text messaging, phone calls or e-mails. You made this decision for a reason and you need to follow through with it. Life is to short not to be happy. I'm glad to hear that you still love him, but he doesn't feel the same way towards you. If he did, he should have placed you on a pedestal from the beginning of the relationship. You are a very brave and intelligent woman. If you feel that you need additional help, I'm sure there are support groups in your area that can help you along with this rough time in your life that you're going through. It's sad there is a child stuck right in the middle of all this and won't understand what's going on. Be strong and keep telling yourself that you deserve better. Make contact with your local DA's office and set up an account for your (soon to be ex husband) to start making child support payments. The DA has a child support department that will help you and will keep track of the records of his payments. If he gets to far behind in child support, he could spend a little time in jail for non payment to help support the child that he helped bring into this world. You also have the option of having him served with a restraining order to make him leave you alone.Good luck and take good care of your child.

[SeduceAStranger:]]

Feelings of doubt are normal at the early stage of a break up. It usually comes from feelings of the unknown future to come and feelings of already being "comfortable" in a relationship with your husband. I think you're strong for being brave (and honest) enough to admit to yourself that you dont believe he'll change. Most of the time, women's intuition is right about that. But few women actually listen to those feelings.Your happiness is important, and even though it will be hard to move on, it's in your best interest to go. No woman deserves to be put on medication in order to tolerate an abusive partner. Life is already filled with enough stress, without the added stress that he gives you. At least your baby is young enough to not be too affected by the divorce. If you don't divorce him now, it will be harder for the child to adjust as it gets older. Good Luck!

[seereb8159]

when it comes to emotional abuse, you have to be really careful who you ask. go to an emotional abuse hot line place. they will help you deal with the guilt and the questions. the things you are speaking about are classic signs of abuse. i know it is really hard however, you will get through it. as far as your child. put yourself first. that is the kind of mother he needs and that is what is best for all of you.