Is it ok for a bf or gf to go to the other's siblings for advice when...

dydreamrzl8

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Aug 12, 2009
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...they're arguing? Say "Joe" and "Jane" , a loving couple, were having a fight. Joe goes to Jane's sibling and asks how to talk to her and/or what can he do.
Joe doesn't ask Jane's sibling to talk to Jane for him, just for advice. Was he wrong in doing so even though everything worked out in the end? What if Jane had done this instead of Joe, is she wrong as well? If it is wrong for either one more-so than the other, then why?
Best answer gets 10 points!
 
I wouldnt get angry either way. Some people..myself included, have a hard time saying how they feel and dealing with arguments. When me and my boyfriend are having a situation I always end up saying the wrong things. If my guy went to my brother or sister for advice about me I'd really admire him for it because hes going to people who care about my feelings and who Im close with plus, it shows he cares too. I actually almost went yesterday to my boyfriend's brother's house to talk to him and his fiance. They too have been through the ups and downs and are wise enough to know by now the best way to deal with this kind of stuff. My boyfriend really looks up to his brother and wants a relationship like him someday. So whatever his brother tells me to say or do I know my guy is going to hold in high reguard.
 
from my own experience i would say it is not s good idea to seek out family during tiffs because then it just gives them hard feelings about the person and can definantlly lead to problems later.

for instance i went to my mother in law during a rocky point (i was suspicious of a girl he had been hanging around with a lot) and over a year later she used the information (and added lies like he is an alcoholic and beats me and all his ex girlfriends) to slander her son in front of thier whole family and called and told the lies to my mom. my mom called me in tears begging me to break up with him and it took me weeks to calm her down that everything was fine and always had been i was just venting and i was wrong about the girl anyway. needless to say, now there is a huge family rift and my honey and i are square in the middle fighting his family in defense of eachother and our relationship.
 
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