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  1. #1
    Junior Member Hellou's Avatar
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    Need some advice on what questions to ask my future college roommate, plus tell him

    I'm gay? I found out who my roommate for this year in college is going to be and I added him as a friend on Facebook. We haven't really said anything to each other so I want to break the ice. I figured I'd send him a message with questions to find out what he's like so I can spark a conversation between us. I'm clueless to what questions I should ask him.

    I also have no idea on how's the best way to tell him I'm gay. Do it ASAP or wait a little while? Or in the message of questions I'm going to ask him should I subtly ask "Are you accepting of other sexual orientations?"

    On facebook I don't have a gender I'm interested in listed. I agree with the people that say I shouldn't declare my sexuality to him but he will eventually find out someway.

  2. #2
    Junior Member BlueBoxerShorts's Avatar
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    why does he need to know its not hes business dont tell him off the bat

    break the ice with:so we are gonna be roomies

  3. #3
    Junior Member Gaynlovinlife's Avatar
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    Okay, I think you should just let him find out on his own, but give him some hints, like "there was a really hot guy in class today" then when he says... Wait, your gay?
    Just say yes and be casual about it.

  4. #4
    Junior Member zaomoe's Avatar
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    don't ask it like that though. you should send him a list of questions and tell him u need to know his likes and dislikes. just make one of the questions "your orientation". u have to ask him that before you move in with him. he could be a complete homophob

  5. #5
    Junior Member LauraLorLor's Avatar
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    I wouldn't bother saying anything, you wouldn't declare your straightness to him. If he comes up then by all means mention it, but otherwise, why does he need to know right away?

  6. #6
    Junior Member petec's Avatar
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    You know, if these college roommate-assigners were the least bit hip, the gay question would already be answered. But since it's not, avoid it. Straight people don't ask one another if they're straight or not--they just blandly, almost sublimely, ASSUME it. And--big point--they don't want to talk about it. So just assume that your roommate's straight, and doesn't want to talk about it, and that he assumes that you are straight, and don't want to talk about it--for the very good reason that it's neither of you guys's business. Look at the odds: It's ten to one that your roommate's straight. And it's ten to one, if he is straight, that he will very much mind if you're gay. The only possible resolution of this impossible dilemma is for your being gay not to be any of his business. So keep the Facebook exchange glacially impersonal; mention activities, academic interests, sports, number of people in your family, pets (if dogs and not cats).

    And now, back to those college roommate assigners. You'd think that they could make up a little Compatability Assessment form to be filled out beforehand, with "Accepting of other races, gender identities, and sexual orientations...." to be checked off. It would certainly save everybody a lot of uncomfortable readjustment once the assignments are made.

  7. #7
    Senior Member jesse's Avatar
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    Doesn't facebook have an area where you say which gender you're into? He'll probably see it at some point. You could always leave something somewhere on your page about a certain celeb being hot. Just approach him on a purely friendly basis, obv, like if his page mentions what football team he supports, tell him they're shite and how your team;s better, and he should see the joke. Make sure it's really obvious you're joking though, or you'll just look like a jerk :P. Then move onto 'maybe your music taste is better' or something. At least then the ice is broken. See what course he's doing too, what he wants to do with it etc.

  8. #8
    Senior Member jesse's Avatar
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    Doesn't facebook have an area where you say which gender you're into? He'll probably see it at some point. You could always leave something somewhere on your page about a certain celeb being hot. Just approach him on a purely friendly basis, obv, like if his page mentions what football team he supports, tell him they're shite and how your team;s better, and he should see the joke. Make sure it's really obvious you're joking though, or you'll just look like a jerk :P. Then move onto 'maybe your music taste is better' or something. At least then the ice is broken. See what course he's doing too, what he wants to do with it etc.

  9. #9
    Senior Member jesse's Avatar
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    Doesn't facebook have an area where you say which gender you're into? He'll probably see it at some point. You could always leave something somewhere on your page about a certain celeb being hot. Just approach him on a purely friendly basis, obv, like if his page mentions what football team he supports, tell him they're shite and how your team;s better, and he should see the joke. Make sure it's really obvious you're joking though, or you'll just look like a jerk :P. Then move onto 'maybe your music taste is better' or something. At least then the ice is broken. See what course he's doing too, what he wants to do with it etc.


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