I have severe social anxiety and severe depression, a very bad case of ocd, and EXTREME suicidal thoughts. I haven't seen a doctor because of the social anxiety so as a last resort , a last attempt to fix my life before ending it, i am going to buy medication online but have no clue what to buy. Does anyone have any suggestions? please do not say see a doctor because i cannot do that, thanks in advance i appreciate all answers

btw i am 18