Hi, never used this before and you probably don't need another what am I question but I'm freaking out and really in need of answers.

I'm a 24 year old guy and I always thought I was straight and have been going out with my girlfriend for seven years and am very much in love with her and have always loved having sex with her. I always had a little concern about my sexual orientation as I used to worry about it when I was an early teen but I felt that I was straight as I was turned on by women and had crushes predating that time of confusion and since then I've felt really attracted to women and female movie stars. Lately though I've been having a crisis of sexuality.

It started with a gay friend hitting on me in a night club. I was drunk and didn't really care at the time. However I started to freak out and thought what if I liked it. This went on for a while and the thoughts didn't leave me alone. I started testing myself continually about liking girls and put myself under huge pressure to "respond" to these sexual thoughts. This began taking over my life and I've been really stressed. I decided to look at gay porn to see what it was like and to my horror I was really arroused and even masturbated to it and came hard. I tried to do the same with straight porn (like I used to) but I think I'm putting so much pressure on myself that it's hard o get arroused and I'm getting chest pains and shoulder pains. This is weird as I used to always get turned on by naked women. I think I'm just terrified that I won't be arroused by women anymore. I'm now getting the same feeling when I look at women on the street or imaging kissing or having sex with them whereas I'm getting arroused by the thought having sex with a man. I just want to be attracted to women so badly like I used to be (or at least I thought i used to be). If I'm not then my whole life with my girlfriend is over and has been a sham. This is such a terrible thought as I was always so happy at the thought of her being in my future. I used to find her so sexy and felt so lucky and happy to be with her. I've been miserable about this for two months now and can't think of anything else. Also when I kiss my girlfriend now I just get so terrified and start thinking would I enjoy this more with a man and I get so stressed I start feeling the afore mentined physical pain and get so low. The thing is though seeing her naked still turns me on as when I do I get an instant erection. These thoughts that I might have to be with a man and not her and my whole life is about to change is just ruining my life and my relationship. I've heard about guys finding out they're gay after they're married and this just terrifies me.

How can this be happening? I remember when I was young I always had crushes on girls. The first time it happened was a girl in my class and I was five for God's sake. There have been so many times when I just couldn't keep my eyes of a girl on a train or a bus or other times when I felt just had to "have" my girlfriend right there and then.

I'm thinking now that I'm probably bi as I'm turned on by my girlfriend and the thought of being with a man. I'm jsut scared that I'll be on the gay end of the scale of bisexuality and that I'll never be happy in my relationship again. When I masturbate the gay thoughts give me a harder orgasm. Could this be just because they're new? How do I prove whats going on without cheating on my girlfriend. The thought of kissing another man though does disgust me so I don't know if I could if I wanted to.


My girlfriend knew something was wrong and after repeated questioning I told her what was wrong and she told me she didn't care if I was bisexual and that she loved me very much. This was great but i'm still scared that I'm infact gay or mostly gay anyway.

Is there anyone out there who has gone through something like this and if so how did you get through it? Can anyone help me? Please. I just want to stop feeling this terror and panic and know whats going on.