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  1. #1
    Junior Member CoolBreeze's Avatar
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    How Can I Tell That My Best Friend Wants A Serious Relationship?

    My best friend and I have been friends for about 5 years now. We have been friends through high school since the 10th grade. I knew him before that, but we didn't really talk as close friends until the 10th grade. I started developing deep feelings for him my junior year in high school because of how close we were. He would wait for me outside of my classroom door until the bell would ring and then walk with me to my locker and then to my next class. He even suggested that I get a locker next to his my senior year and I did. We would walk home together and talk about everything. Sometimes he would walk past his house and walk me home and then walk back to his house. Talk about a walk. Anyhow, two years out of high school we both joined the military and from here and there we would come home for breaks like Christmas and see each other. We would go to the movies and bowling together. I enjoyed every second with him. Whenever he would come home my heart would leap. This past Christmas he asked me to come over two days after he arrived home. So I went and stayed the night. He began to act different and very flirtatious and wrestle me on the floor. Next thing you know we ended up making out and hitting third base. Before that happened we talked a bit and I admitted my feelings for him and asked him if he felt the same, but he wouldn't admit that he liked or loved me only that he had deep feelings for me. The next the day his mother kept suggesting that we date since we were so close and since I had a better character than his past girlfriends. When she asked him if he would in my presence he completely ignored the question like she never asked it to begin with. I felt sad and a little embarrassed that he would just consider me as somebody to sleep with, yet not good enough to date. After that happened, the next several days he ignored me until he left. He didn't even acknowledge to say good-bye like the past times when he would leave home. Talk about a close friend. He'll sleep with me, but doesn't even have the courtesy to say good bye when he leaves. A couple of months passed after this and he came home again on military orders. His Grandmother contacted me to tell me he was home. He didn't contact me this time. So I texted him to see if we could hang out and he kept making excuses like 'I'm hanging with my sister' or 'my Mom'. However, he never had a problem before letting me hang out with his family whenever he returned home. I'm practically a family friend since we've been friends for so long. He was scheduled to return to military duty in 30 days. So we had 30 days to schedule a time to hang out. After two weeks of attempting to spend time with him I gave up. I realized that he was avoiding me, but I didn't entirely know why. I knew it had something to do with what happened that past Christmas. He's never had the courtesy to ask his best friend out nor at least admit his true feelings to her, yet he'll ask other girls out before he sleeps with them. I recently asked him if he would considered dating me and he said maybe and that he was not so sure. My thing is I really don't know how long that it's gonna take him to think about it, but I really don't have time to wait on someone to think about whether or not I'm good enough to be his girlfriend. Do you think that he wants a serious relationship or not? Why hold back on someone you know who is true and who is not there to hurt you? Why do close friends make it so complicated to express their true feelings when they know each other well enough to just come out and say what they feel? Do you think that he may at some point want to get serious or just hoping that I'll just look past it and forget about it?

  2. #2
    Junior Member Mahek's Avatar
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    Hello cool breeze. I will tell you one thing. Men and women will never be best friends or so close. If you become so close, you will like and begin to love that person etc. Exactly how you have been feeling for a long time .that is why god made man and woman to have a sexual attraction towards one another. Secondly you should have not slept with him until you were in a serious bonded relationship. I knoelw this might have come to a surprise, that someone who hadls been your close friend for so long then just up and ignore you all of a sudden. You should have waited. I know this sounds traditional but that is why you are supposed to marry before having that deep intimate relation because if you sleep with someone before marriage then what is the point of getting married if you get all the same things without marriage as well. Everything is so different now and i feel like women have to give themself up to get that attention but it is only making it worse. So anyways if i were you i would seriously ignore him and act Like he isnt there. And like the story goes if you let them go and he comes back then all the best but if he doesnt come back then it wasnt meant to be. Next time be more stable with the relationship before sleeping with a man. Because man and women can not just be friends you will always catch feelings. I will say good luck anf hope it all works out in your favor


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