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We have someone going into our email accounts and reading it. They forwrd it to other people we know. We keep changing our pass word and nothing seems to work. My wife was on messenger and this...

get a tape measure and figure out the size of the space you're putting said tub in. if the tub is larger than the space, no, it will not fit.

Are you lonesome tonight? Does your tummy feel tight? Did you bring your mylanta and tums?

Does your memory stray, To that bright sunny day, When you had all your teeth and your gums?

Is your...

A man and a blonde woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.

“What are you doing here today?”, asked the man.

The blonde replied, “Oh, I’m here to donate some blood. They’re going to...

Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out that the topic of show and tell that day had been parents' occupations.

The teacher pulled me aside.

Whispering, she advised, "You...

Q: What did the doe say when she came running out of the woods?
A: I'll never do that for two bucks again.

Animal Girl, this one's for you...

An Amish woman is driving her horse and buggy down the road when she gets pulled over.

"You have a broken reflector on your buggy," says the cop. "But, more...

Love the accent, lol good joke too, well done...!

A guy walks into a pharmacy.

He says to the pharmacist, "I've heard a lot about that viagra stuff. Does it really work?."

The pharmacist says, "Yeah, it works great."

The guy asks, "Do...

I remember seeing you there, but...weren't you blonde at the time?

A man is standing on the pavement when he sees a funeral procession go by, the procession is led by a large dog which is followed by a very long line of men.

The bystander asks the man at the...

Chicken omelette would do for me, lol, with chips if you don't mind...!

One fine day a hunter and his new wife went hunting.

He instructed his wife, "If you see any deer, you shoot it, right?"

She replied, "Yes dear".

They went off in different directions...

One day a blonde decided to try ice-fishing, so she gathered up her equipment and found a nice spot on the ice.

While cutting out a hole she hears a deep voice say "There are no fish under that...

After a long time away on work, a millionaire calls his house, and is answered by the servant.

"May I please speak with the lady of this house?" he asks;

"I'm afraid not, she is currently...

Rover?

A blind man was walking down the street with his dog.
They stopped at the corner to wait for the passing traffic.
The dog, at this point, started pi$$ing on the mans leg.
As the dog finished...

You might be a Redneck if

You've got more than one brother named "Darryl".

When you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.

You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65...

A door-to-door salesman comes-a-knocking and 10-year-old Lil Johnny answers, a beer in one hand and a lit cigar in the other.

The salesman says, "Little boy, is your mommy home?"

Lil Johnny...

A lion woke up one morning with the urge to assert his superiority over his fellow beasts.

He strode over to a monkey, and roared "Who is the Mightiest of Animals?"

"You are, Master," said the...

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now,...

"If in doubt, don't subscribe", old Chinese proverb (2007)

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"...

From me, that particular 'poltical' would rate a -1, pathetic...

Little Johnny sees his father's car passing the playground and go into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees his father and his aunt Jane "hugging" in the parked vehicle.

Johnny finds...