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A router will do the trick. Since you need to buy one, get a wireless router so you can access the internet anywhere in your house with your laptop.

High speed internet and a wireless router.

Here:
http://www.xp-drivers.com/drivers/83/83834.htm

Do not try to uninstall IE. It's deeply integrated into Windows. Just quit using it.

In your burning software look for the "burn image to disc" option.
This is what you need to use to burn an iso file to disc.

If your software does not have this option download IMGBurn (free)....

In your burning software look for the "burn image to disc" option.
This is what you need to use to burn an iso file to disc.

If your software does not have this option download IMGBurn (free)....

Sneak into the room where the router is and plug it back in.

With your laptop download this: http://www.kaspersky.com/kis_latest_versions

Put it on a flash drive or burn it to a cd and run it on your desktop.

Onboard LAN

No additional card needed.

It is a holiday weekend. I'm sure the process will speed up come Monday.

Did you setup the router using the setup cd that came with it?

Edit:
Just to be sure, is this the way your connections are set up?

Internet connection into the modem.
From the one port on...

Yes there is a chance since it's illegal but those chances are microscopic.

Power cycle the modem.
Unplug the power cable for 30 seconds and plug it back in.

Zero AGP slots
2 PCI slots
Zero PCI-e slots

The video is onboard and shares system memory.

Try to customize IE.

Click tools and then add-ons in Firefox. Firefox is also a lot more secure than IE.

Peace

If you already pay for high speed internet, adding a wireless router will only cost you the cost of the router.
There won't be any additional fees unless your provider has bandwidth usage limits.

Run the network setup wizard on both computers to setup a home network.

It's found in the control panel.

Run the network setup wizard on both computers to setup a home network.

It's found in the control panel.

Run the network setup wizard on both computers to setup a home network.

It's found in the control panel.

Run the network setup wizard on both computers to setup a home network.

It's found in the control panel.

Run the network setup wizard on both computers to setup a home network.

It's found in the control panel.

If it's copyrighted media, it's illegal regardless of the download method.

Um, no.

Manually install the flash player.

Download it here:http://get.adobe.com/flashplayer then run the installer.

Here:
https://secure.logmein.com/home.asp?lang=en

It's free and for legal use only