dezi_rani4u

...he/she is a different religion? Basically, I am 20 and i know most of yall are gonna say just move out...i cant. Parents keep bringing up marriage and want me to break up with my SO because of religious conflict. I am not that religious so it does not matter to me if we are different. They also keep going to desperate measures by monitoring phone bill, getting people to stalk me at school to see if we are hanging out, etc. Its pretty bad. So what would you do?
And did I mention my brother who is 24 is the one who ratted me out to them about this whole thing. They tell him to stalk me and stuff and he, once again, told my mom today that we are dating still and my parents had a mental breakdown. Its too much stress to handle when I am enrolled in full time college.
I mean I am not even that close to them but still do stuff out of respect. They have been a major obstacle in this relationship and I really love my bf so I don't want to leave him at this point of life but then this shit happens and my brain goes crazy
They have also gone as far as to monitor my bank account (idk how they did that) and got mad at spending my own money on him
Parents dont believe in dating or me moving out. I have tried moving out with a lot of friends before but I am broke and they stop me. basically I cant turn them into the law b/c I am not a US citizen and they keep threatening me to ship me back to the motherland and get me arranged married with someone there. There is no way in hell i wanna move back after living here for 10 years. I consider myself American.

Megan

this all depends on how strongly you feel for this guy. Honestly, if you feel strongly for him, then you should just go for it anyway. There is no reason that someone else's religion should get in the way of a relationship unless they're trying to force it upon you, which isn't right for anyone to do especially a boyfriend or girlfriend and it's especially wrong for your parents to chime in when you are an adult. I would think by now you knew yourself better than even your parents and that you're old enough to make your own decisions with or without their help.

Good luck!

Malina

wow. Thts abit drastic. Well if i were you i would just break up with him cause they're your parents. They have done so much for you.

Miranda K

I would probably break it off if we didn't have the same view points. I would ask myself, "If I had a kid with this guy in the future, would we have the same moralistic ideals and beliefs to pass on to the child?" If not, then I'd go with my parents beliefs, even though they shouldn't be taking such drastic measures.

BarBQFritosFTW

I'd just keep going out with them. Your parents have no right to control who you date. Especially for such a dumb reason. They're being absolutely ridiculous. I don't think there's much you can do except find a way to move out as fast as possible. Have you considered moving in with a buddy who has their own place? Or even a relative of yours who is less religious?

Good luck.

Nalini

Do not break up because of religious differences. That is, if that's the only reason your parents are against you dating this other guy. Talk to them as to why religion has to get in the way and divide. Like most parents, they're probably just concerned about how they're going to look to family and friends when people find out that their child is dating someone of a *gasp* different religion. Seriously, if religion is not one of your priorities, then don't let that be the reason for breaking up with your SO.

I'm pretty religious but even I wouldn't break up with my *hypothetical* SO just because he followed another religion and especially not if that was my parents' beef against him. You need a better reason for a break up than religion since it's a topic that doesn't matter to you.

?????

i can't believe those 2 first answers...

if religion is not important to your bf either then you need to blow off your parents... just say yes to their nagging then go out with him... i'm sure you are part of a very strict religion, but still what's the worst thing they can do really?

let them know you love them but you'll live your own life cause you trust what they've taught you all your life and they should too... (that might get some sense into them.... or at least make them feel bad for trying to control you)

Yes, in the end your relationship with your bf will end (sooner or later) but you need to walk your own path and become your own person... not a newer version of your parents...

Piggy

Do it. The relationship will fail due to something so major anyway. They're right to warn you against it.

Jareth's Trousers

Find a way to make some money and save every penny of it then you can move out. They can't stop you forever. You are an adult, and this is America. Would they rather see you happy or in a relationship you have no interest in? Or you could always find the most disgusting disrespectful jerk of the same religion and bring him home. Then ask if they still think the other guy is worse? Okay, not the best solution, but really, this is ridiculous of them.

Kitty Cat

first of all what their doing in terms of having you followed is against the law. you are a legal adult. second of all if it is your phone then they have no business reading it. i would say move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend.