honeypea78

I as an adult am an Atheist, I was raised in a christian but not to Church- going house and my husband was raise Jehovah's Witness which do not celebrate holidays. I enjoy the holidays on a secular level and getting together with my family and husband doesn't mind the idea of doing that with my family, but we have chosen not to celebrate the holidays in our own home and personal life's ..How do I tell my family we want to come celebrate the holiday as "family" time and no presents please? nOw all the children everybody buys gifts for. Now I have a new son and I don't want my child to feel less loved or left out! and I know my family even if I ask them to let the children open presents before we come they will wait until we get there and do it on purpose..Do I just let my child participate in situations as this and let him open gifts they bought him? or look like the bad guy and refuse them and make my child feel left out? Does anybody have similar situation because of mixed religions going on in the family and how do they handle it?? This includes all holidays and birthdays and help would be welcomed

Evan M

If you want to celebrate Christmas you can do that. I am an atheist too. Christmas is actually completely based off a pagan holiday that christians assimilated and added jesus to. the pagan holiday consisted of the tree and gift giving as well as family getting together. Thanksgiving is a secular holiday, easter i like to call "zombie day" because jesus supposedly came back to life. you can still celebrate holidays and incorporate little to no religious element, thats they way ive done it my whole life.

BonesofaTeacher

you should let your child participate in this. it makes sense. you are still not celebrating at your house in your nuclear family. you can't and shouldn't stop others from giving your child presents. but you don't have to do it.

peppersham

I would let your son participate in the family whatever they do.By not having it in your home is already stating your preference.I think that would be ok,until he is old enough to understand fully.We have that too never has been any problem.That way others can show their love and acceptance of him and yours ideas,without making it a big deal.

mizgen1

My sister-in-law is a Jehovah's Witness. Her solution was to let her step-son participate if other family members gave him a gift. We all knew that their woild be no gifts reciprocated. It never mattered, because that isn't what christmas is about.

Our family accepted her as she is and respect her decision not to take part in the celebrations. She attended and allowed us to follow our beliefs and we allowed her to follow hers. More often than not she would go for a walk or read a book on the deck while the gift giving happened.

Her solution to the gift giving thing was to give a holiday gift to her step-son, not a christmas present. It was always wrapped in plain paper , not christmas paper. She also made it a practice of giving it on Dec. 26th (Boxing day).

Hope this helps.

Christine M

Well that depends. You have to think about your beliefs and what is important to you? What are you trying to instill in your children? Do you want to raise them with a religion or not? I would say let your family know that you are not celebrating this day as a religious holiday, but would like to spend time with your family. Let them know that you are not buying gifts and really would prefer that your family didnt recieve any either. ?

Vortex

For Christmas when your son will be surrounded with happy kids with brand new toys and he has to wonder why he gets nothing (I'm assuming he is too young to understand) I would just let him open presents. But for birthdays, and other holidays, explain your beliefs to your family and make sure they know he is YOUR child, and YOU decide how to raise him, not them, so while well wishes would be accepted, presents would not. But until he is old enough to get it, I would just let him celebrate while he is young. That way you can still participate in the holidays without upsetting your child. And keep in mind you can change this situation at any time if it doesn't work this year.