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  1. #1
    Junior Member SJButane's Avatar
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    Wife hates her job. I hate her complaining about it. What do I do?

    Ever since I have known my wife (5+ years) she has really disliked her jobs, and makes it known quite often. At first I tried to be understanding and allow her to vent hoping she would figure it out. I understand that her jobs have had a lot of negative qualities, but I am getting tired of hearing her complain about them and how she feels trapped. So should I continue to listen and try to be understanding to her, hoping she gets out of her rut? Or would it be better if I tell her that I am tired of listening to her about this topic and that she needs to dedicate herself to figuring it out or she can find someone else to complain to?

    I feel I have been extremely supportive of her. I have helped her try to find another job, even spending several nights writing her resume and cover letters practically for her. It seems the aspects of her job she hates switch all the time, starting with the technical aspect of her job, then company policies, her 45 minute drive, then her coworkers and management. She does spend some time (not enough imo) looking every few weeks, but she works in a field where the jobs are not plentiful. However, that doesn't seem to matter because she isn't thrilled about the field anyways. She just doesn't seem to have any idea what she wants to do in life career-wise, and seems to be unwilling to look for it. She certainly does not want to go back to school, nor quit and try something completely different. Finally, leaving her is not an option. She brings so much more to me than just this. I just hate this aspect of our relationship but I love her.

  2. #2
    Senior Member DJ's Avatar
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    I'm curious as to what she complains about. Is it more the people, the company policies or the tasks she performs? That could reveal a lot about why she's never satisfied. What is the common denominator with her and each of her past jobs? Have all her past jobs been essentially the same kind of work or could it be perhaps what she brings to the equation?

    I don't know what she does, but perhaps it's time for her to go back to school or get some training and start a new career. If she's actively working to change her career, perhaps she'll have a more positive attitude because she'll have something positive that she's working toward. (She'll need you to be supportive of this move, and it may require some sort of sacrifice on your part.)

    On the other hand, being negative may just be an aspect of her personality. Some people simply cannot be pleased and will blame anyone and anything except themselves. If she goes to school and complains about her classes, teachers, classmates, etc., then you'll know for sure that she's a person who, for some reason, has a negative outlook on life. In that case, you should just ignore her complaints because there is nothing you can do to help a person who refuses to recognize any of the joy in life.

    If you tell her that you're sick and tired of hearing her complain then you'll have more problems than just her being unhappy in her work. Instead of complaining back to her, help her identify what the real problem is and be a part of the solution.

  3. #3
    Junior Member princessleah's Avatar
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    why don't you help her find another job, retrain or study for something else. Its easy to sit and listen and give advice but do f*** all to help. Typical man!


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