Thread: Why does my 11 yro have to fight and argue about everything with me?

I'm a single mom with a wonderful 11 yro daughter. We live (rent) with my parents. My parents & I have A LOT of history which included physical, mental & emotional abuse. They are VERY controlling and tell me what to do, as well as treat me like a child (I'm 43) all the time. My daughter see's everything. I try not to put her in the middle but they always say things to her so she confronts me, like she is my mother! On top of this, they give her 10$ a week for "allowance" & she will NOT DO ANYTHING!! My mother informed me, in front of my daughter, that it's my responsibility to clean her room like she was when I was little. I decided in Oct I have had enough & stopped all communicatiion with them. I have no control over any part of my life, least of all with my daughter. She always talks

back & is disrespectful towards me. I would die for her! I just want to runaway n leave her with my parents so she's be happy. Please don't suggest talking to my parents as I have tried everything. They jst dnt like me (as they've told me this many times) My failed relationship with my own parents is more than heartbreaking BUT having the same kind of relationship with my own child is more than I can take. Thank You

I understand where you are coming from...
Basically what I would suggest is to tell her look either you do what I tell you the 1st time I tell you to or your going to be in trouble... (depending on what it is spanking, grounded, etc.) allow her time with her grandparents explain to her that once a week or whatever you can go over to grandma and grandpas house for a few hours (assuming she's not grounded) and drop her off pick her up and basically have the bare minimal Communication with your parents but at least have SOME so that your daughter won't have to miss her grandparents... you say you'll die for her so do this for her.

Give her some sort of allowance AFTER (never give it to her in advance) she does what you have for her (load dishes in dishwasher, put dishes away, clean her room, help clean bathroom etc.)

It's going to be trying for a while because she doesn't think she has to respect you because no one else does.. that she can see..

I have this kind of relationship with my mother but it's just a tad bit flipped... I'm "mom" (at 15 1/2) and she is "daughter" (at 35!) because I am more mature and understanding then she is... (Thank Goodness I'm not with her!)

Good luck & GOD Bless you

P.S. Don't weaver it will probably take 2 months or so but sooner or later she will realize "hey you know I actually have to respect her"